Responding to difficult Life Circumstances
You can listen to this podcast episode HERE.
Jerrad: Hey guys, welcome back to the Dad Tired podcast. It's good to be with you.
Jerrad: I want to take a minute just to thank our sponsor Circle With Disney for sponsoring this episode. Just this week I was sitting on my couch, and I was playing on my phone, and I got this notification that says, "Your time has expired." Which is one of my favorite features of the Circle device. I've talked about this before but Circle is this little device that connects to your Wi-Fi and it tracks all of the usage on all of your devices, in your house. And so, I have a time limit set on my phone that basically tells me, "Dude, you've been spending way too much time on your phone and on the internet today."
Jerrad: And it shuts it off. It actually like shuts off the internet, either completely on my phone or on specific apps that I set up. So not only is it tracking my kids and their internet usage in the house, but it's also tracking my internet usage and it's just a super good reminder for me to set down my phone and be fully present with my kids. If you want to pick up one of these devices, you can go to Meetcircle.com, use the promo code Dad Tired you'll get $10 dollars off and free shipping. Again, go to Meetcircle.com, use the promo code Dad Tired to get $10 off and free shipping.
Jerrad: Just as a friendly reminder Sunday, May 13th is Mother's Day, which is just about a month away, so you're going want to start thinking through gifts right now. My friends over at Backgate Prayers make these beautiful custom prayer cards with your kids' pictures on them, and then they actually put the names of your kids in each of the prayer. So they're really beautiful, beautifully displayed. This is like a really good gift for your wife and your mother.
Jerrad: A lot of the guys in the Dad Tired group get these for their wife for their birthday or for Christmas but as I said, Mother's Day is just around the corner and this would be a really, really good gift for both your wife and your mother, because they make grandparent additions as well. Go to Backgateprayers.com, use the promo code Dad Tired, that'll get 10% percent off your order. And listen, you should do it now because it takes a couple weeks for them to make those custom cards. So go to Backgateprayers.com, use the promo code Dad Tired to get 10% off.
Jerrad: If you were to pull up the Instagram app or the Facebook app right now and just like search the #Blessed, you'd find all kinds of things, some of which might actually be inappropriate now that I'm thinking of it, so maybe you should cautiously do this. But just for an experiment sake, just like go and search the #Blessed sometime and see what you can find. You're likely going to find tons of smiles, lots of like pretty things, people on vacation, new cars, promotions at work, cute kids, new outfits. You're just going to find like tons and tons of smiles associated with the #Blessed because typically, not just in our culture but really around the world, like we associate good things as blessings.
Jerrad: Whether you get a new house or got a new job or got a promotion at work or God gave you this cute kid or whatever, like these are all good things and so we consider them blessings. And I used to think that, that was just like an American thing, but I've actually come to find out that, that's like the whole world thing, because here's what you're not going to find when you search the #Blessed, you're not going to find people who are depressed. Nobody is like losing their job or getting a bad diagnosis at work and then like shooting a selfie, like #Blessed, I just lost my job, blessed. Nobody is doing that. We associate not just, again as Americans but really in humanity, good things as blessings.
Jerrad: You see this all the way back in Jesus's day, like his disciples they really ... And back in Jesus' day they highly valued good things. Like they wanted status, and strength, and big armies, and wealth, like these were considered blessings in their culture just like it would be in our culture. Even the disciples were constantly fighting with each other and bickering among each other like, "Hey, who's going to be the greatest in God's kingdom and Jesus's kingdom?" Because they really thought like, "Dude we're like we're like homeboys with Jesus and like we're in, and like we got picked. We're kind of a rag tag team here, but we got picked to be Jesus's guys and we get to sit next to Jesus."
Jerrad: And they're literally like bickering among themselves like who's going to get what seat next to Jesus and all this stuff, because they too had this idea that to be blessed, to be part of Jesus's culture and to be part of Jesus's kingdom meant like good things. You're going to get, like probably be part of this palace and have more money and you're going to build up an army and we're going to like be the best, and the strongest, and the greatest in the world. And this is ... Really like that hasn't changed. That's why I'm saying, go search the #Blessed, like you're going to find the exact same things that people value as blessings today, as they did thousands and thousands of years ago.
Jerrad: The crazy thing is, when you open up the Scriptures, blessing especially in the New Testament looks a lot different than what you see on Instagram, hashtag for blessed, these crazy like moments. One of the first times Jesus ever gives a message in the Scriptures, and again his disciples are like, they have been following him for a while and they're like arguing about who's going to be the greatest. And they had all these ideas of what it meant to be a Christian and to be in Jesus's kingdom and to have Jesus as their king. And they really thought that this was going to mean like more wealth, more prosperity, more stuff, more status. And then Jesus opens up his very first message, and he gives this like crazy flip their world upside down kind of speech. And here's where it is, it's a Matthew five verse three, is where I'm going to start.
Jerrad: And this is Jesus's first message to the people. It's the first time in Scripture we see him like to give this
message. It's called the Sermon on the Mount, which just means he gave it on a mountain. It's like the first time Jesus teaches and he's on a mountain, so they called it the Sermon on the Mount, in verse three, Matthew five verse three, it says this, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Jerrad: Now dude, that's like jolting for us and it would have been super jolting for them. Think about the disciples who have been oppressed people for hundreds and hundreds of years, and then they've been waiting for a messiah, a king to rise up to come and to rescue them from slavery, from oppression from hurt. And finally, this guy Jesus shows up and he says, "Hey, that messiah, that rescuer, that king that you've been waiting for, I'm here, I'm it, I'm here to save you, to rescue you." And they think like, "Finally, finally I've been going through junk, I've been going through these hard times for a long time. Our family for generation after generation has been going through these hard times and finally God has showed up, a messiah has showed up, a king has showed up who's going to like save us and get us out of this mess. And finally, we are going to be blessed."
Jerrad: And their idea of blessing would have been again, an army, a kingdom, a king who like takes over the world, that they would have lots of stuff and good stuff to eat and drink. And they wouldn't have to worry about money anymore, and that all their pain, and insecurity, and hopelessness would be taken away. And then Jesus opens up, in verse three of Matthew and he says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit ..." He's using words like poor and blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the meek, blessed are those who are hungry and thirsty, blessed are the merciful, pure in heart, blessed are those who are persecuted. It's crazy, he literally takes their idea of what it means to be blessed and he flips it on its head. Everything that they thought it meant to be blessed was just like totally shaken up.
Jerrad: There's nothing that you would ever search on an Instagram #Blessed, where you would find people who are like boasting because they are blessed because they're poor in spirit, or because they're mourning, or because they're meek, or because they're hungering and thirsting for righteousness. That's not even like cue churchy language, that's like they're starving for something that they don't have. Nobody is hashtagging blessed when they're trying to be merciful or pure in heart, or looking for peace in the midst of chaos, or when they're persecuted. And nobody is hashtagging, selfieing that, right? There's this guy in the Facebook ... We have an online closed group of Dad Tired guys. There's thousands of guys in that group now who listen to this podcast and then they go over to Facebook.
Jerrad: There's a closed group where we all just kind of continually try to pray for each other and encouraging each other and push each other towards what it means to be a faithful follower of Jesus, who was leading their family well, being the best husband that we can be, being the best dad that we can be. It's a really cool group. I've never seen anything like it. Guys in the group I always say like, "This is the most unique group on Facebook." It's a group of guys, thousands of men from around the world who are genuinely and seriously trying to take this stuff seriously. There's a guy in this group his name is Caleb. He's actually been part of the group for a long time, I've never met him, he lives in Florida. PS, I'll be in Florida in May, so I'll try to keep you on details on that, so that we can get a group together to hang out.
Jerrad: But anyway, there's a guy named Caleb, he lives in Florida. And he's been part of the group for a long time, I like him. I always see his name pop up, he's always commenting on stuff and he just ... He and I have always ... Just from a distance it feels like have been friends and I've just kind of watched him and resonated with a lot of stuff that he's said. But anyway, I know Caleb is going through some stuff right now, and I asked him ... We've been talking over Facebook Messenger, I asked him if he would just share a little bit of where he's at like today. Not like testimony from 15 years ago but like, where you at like right now? And so, he was gracious and humble enough to come talk to us about where he's at right now. So just take a few minutes and listen to his story.
Caleb: In high school got caught up in drugs, started smoking weed and then it went to popping pills and drinking all the time. That went on for, I guess from the age of like 16 till, see my wife and I met in 2012, so to the age of 22. And so the night that I met her, I made a promise to God and to myself that I'd stop using, never use again and just kind of turn away from it. And it worked for a while, life kind of happened, lots of craziness happened. I started working, doing water restoration again, which was the job I did while my wife and I were dating, and was kind of what I was doing when I was at the end of my using cycle. I guess you could say.
Caleb: What really sucks is my wife's never seen me, she's never seen me high, never see me on drugs, never seen any of that happen. And she didn't really notice much of a difference that I'm aware of anyways even when I was using the pills again. I started using pills again whenever Hurricane Irma hit down here in Florida. And I was working 16, 18, 20 hour days, going in, helping people in their houses. Just trying to help people. And I had a guy who I considered a friend, offered me some pills and I was like, "You know one or two, that's not hurt, right?" And it ended up hurting really bad, because it went from one and two to about anywhere from eight to ten a day.
Caleb: And it was really tough because in the middle of all of this, I'm like really involved at the church that were in and with the kids' ministry, and serving in the kids' ministry, and teaching the kids on a Sunday morning. When I would walk into church Sunday morning I'd have already taken two or three pills before getting up there to teach the kids. So this was back in September that everything started and then beginning of February is when it all kind of came to an end, when it came out that in December I had taken three or four pills at one time, walked into a lady's house saw a Rolex watch and took it. And I just kind of really messed myself up from there.
Caleb: Ended up losing my job. At first, I didn't know what to do man, because I loved the job I was working. The guy that worked for I've known him practically my entire life, so not only did I hurt him personally but I hurt the business a little bit too. It's hard for me to even talk to him anymore after everything I've done. It's hard for me to look at my parents the same way, because I'm like, "Here I am, the middle of five kids and the drug addicted child, who was supposed to be a pastor." I started going to counseling with one of the pastors at church, getting all the biblical counseling.
Caleb: And just really coming to realize that the only way that I would ever get clean and stay clean is to truly come to know Christ and to truly ... I've known Christ almost my entire life, I've known about Christ should I say. I would say that I truly gave myself over to Christ back in 2012 and just ran away from him over the last year and just over the last two months it's been tough trying to run back to him. But this Sunday will be 60 days clean, which is exciting. It's super exciting for me because I was five and a half years clean before that, so that's one thing I'm celebrating but I'm just really working through, still trying to stay away from the temptation.
Jerrad: I don't think anybody would listen to Caleb's story and be like, "Man that dude is super blessed." He's definitely not like posting on any social media and using the #Blessed based on what he's like currently going through right now. But the crazy thing man, is I feel like Jesus would look at Caleb and he would be like, "You are blessed." Like Caleb is the description, like he's what Jesus is describing in Matthew five when he says, "Blessed are those who are mourning, blessed are those who are meek, who feel weak, who are hungering and thirsting for righteousness." And it begs the question like, you hear stories like that and you hear Jesus say those kind of people like Caleb, Caleb right now is blessed.
Jerrad: And it begs the question like, why? Like why the heck would we hear that story and say that he is blessed?
Well, here's what I think, I think that in our culture we look at a blessing as anything that helps us get closer to our goal. And for many of us, our goal is like more money, more health, good bank accounts, our kids being successful and obedient, our house looking good, our car that drives well. Like all these nice things that when you're searching Facebook and Instagram and you look at the #Blessed, like those are the things that we consider blessing, and so we feel blessed when something is helping us get closer to that goal.
Jerrad: So if we get a promotion at work, or we're able to get a new house, or we go the doctor and they tell us we're healthy or our kids are healthy or whatever, then we can say, "Man, look how much God has blessed me. Man, God has really helped me get closer to my goal." I think that's what the disciples were going [inaudible 00:16:04], at the end of the day what they really wanted was like to feel valuable, to feel like the sense of not being scared anymore, not oppressed. That they would have some kind of status in the world, and Jesus was going to help them get closer to their goal, and so they wanted to be blessed just like you and I want to be blessed and helping us like, "Jesus can you help me get closer to my goal?"
Jerrad: And Jesus was saying to his disciples and because we see it in Scripture it's not just for his disciples, it's for us that our goal as a follower of Jesus is not stuff. It's not status, it's not security, it's not safety, it's not a bigger bank account, it's not a job that pays well, our goal as followers of Jesus is Jesus. And I think that's what he was trying to teach in Matthew five, is that as a follower of me, no longer do you look at all these other things as your goal, you look at me as your goal. I Jesus, am your goal. I am your goal as a follower of me. And that's why you can look at situations like those who are broken, and meek, and weak and hungering and thirsting, and those who are poor in spirit, and those who are crushed, and those who are being persecuted and you can say, "I'm blessed because it's forcing me to get closer to my goal. And my goal now is Jesus."
Jerrad: Like I can assure you, that Caleb is praying in ways that he wasn't praying a year ago. Like a year ago, he may have been finding hope and joy and satisfaction and other things. He may have considered other things a blessing like, "Man, yeah my job is taking care of me. Maybe these pills are taking care of me or whatever. Like I feel better when I have this X, Y, Z." Whatever X, Y, and Z is. "I feel better." And Jesus was saying, "Listen as a follower of Jesus like that's not your goal, that stuff will fail you." And now, when like you're broken and you're making like, "Crap, like I don't have my life together. I've been caught in my sin, I'm broken. I'm hurting." Caleb is now praying in ways I assure you, in ways that he wasn't praying six months ago, a year ago.
Jerrad: And Jesus would say like, "Now you're blessed. At the moment you recognize that you are weak and you are broken and you can't do this on your own, that you desperately need a savior is when you're actually blessed, because you're getting closer to me in ways that you never have before." And the reason I wanted Caleb to share his story is because I read the comments in the Facebook group every day and I listen to many of you who are going through a divorce, or through hard times in your marriage, or your kids are sick, or they're being disobedient, you've lost your job, you're going through really hard times. And I know that for many of us, the tendency is to try to get back to this place where we feel like, "God, would you just bless me? Would you help me out? Could you give me a little relief here?"
Jerrad: And I think that Jesus would look at you bro like who's going through difficult times, whether it's as little as like, "Man, I can't get my kids to listen and to be obedient," or something as big as like, "Man, my wife is about to leave," or "We about to get a divorce," or, "My kid is terminally ill." Wherever the hardship is, wherever you're out on that hardship spectrum I think Jesus would look at you and say, "Actually in the midst of your hard, hurting, brokenness you're blessed, not as the world defines blessed, not as the way that you can search a hash tag and see all the smiles and pretty pictures, but you're blessed because you're going to get closer to me than you ever have before. You're going to get dependent on me in ways you never have before."
Jerrad: And there's no greater blessing than to realize that we are broken and incapable of having our souls satisfied outside of Jesus. Wherever you're searching to be blessed, to get closer to your goals, Jesus would break it and say, "There's nothing, there's nothing that's better than finding your hope and your joy and your rest in me." And listen, I know that, that doesn't make sense for many of you who are hurting right now. Like, man you tell me I take my kid ... if I take my kids to the doctor right now and I get some kind of diagnosis, man I could get choked up even thinking about it. And to think that somehow I could say that, that's a blessing, that only makes sense in the kingdom. There's no way that makes sense in any other planet. Is that I could look at sickness, and I can look at losing my job, and I could even look at death and I could say, "I'm blessed."
Jerrad: This is why Paul said, "To live is Christ and to die is gain." Dude, that doesn't make sense anywhere except in the Christian faith, that doesn't make sense. What Paul is saying is, "If I get to live, then I'm blessed. I get to be part of the advancement of God's kingdom in the world. I get to raise my kids to love Jesus." Not for Paul specifically, but for us. Like to live means that we get to raise our kids to fall in love with Jesus, that we get to be part of his advancement and his redemption of the world back to himself. Like that's amazing. But Paul said that, "Even if I die, I still gain." Why? Why in the world would Paul say that death is a gain? Well, because he's saying he's getting closer to his goal.
Jerrad: His goal was Jesus and literally life or death, it didn't matter, no circumstance could stop him from falling more in love of Jesus. Even the worse things that you throw at him, he'd say, "You're just helping me get closer to my goal." And dude, that's what I want for us as men, is to say, "It doesn't matter what situation you throw at me, whether I'm caught in sin or I confess my brokenness, or I lose my job, or there's sickness, or even death I can say that I am getting closer to my goal and that's Jesus. And so, I will rejoice. I will worship and I will praise God despite my circumstances. In the middle of my circumstances I will worship and recognize it as a blessing, because my goal is no longer more stuff or security, my goal is Jesus. And this circumstance is actually pointing me and forcing me to get closer to Jesus than I've ever been."
Jerrad: So dude, if you're struggling right now. If you feel like you are not blessed, I would remind you to look at Matthew five. And I think Jesus would say you're actually way more blessed than you think you are. Sometimes I cringe when people say, "God bless you brother." A lot of times I speak at a church or I'll go speak somewhere and people come up to me and they'll say, "God bless you brother." And I'll say, "Man, before you put that on me, please don't throw those words around lightly because listen, I don't think blessing is actually what we think about as blessing, more stuff or more hope, or security. I think blessing is actually when we're broken to the point where more desperate for God than we've ever been, and I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of blessing if I'm honest."
Jerrad: I love you guys man. I hope that's encouraging to you. I know there's a lot of you guys going through some stuff right now and I pray that man you would fall in love with Jesus, that you would recognize that you are actually way more blessed, that Caleb is way more blessed than he feels and that he thinks in this situation. That you, wherever you're at, if you feel like you're in the thick of it, if you feel like you're just trudging through the mud, that you're actually blessed, bro it's a perspective change to recognize that you get to fall in love with Jesus, man ... I know I'm going on tangent here, but I get to travel the world a lot.
Jerrad: I get to go ... I've done a lot of "mission trips," I've been a lot of third world countries and it hurts my heart so much when I hear people come back from a third world country and say, "Man, the thing that I learned the most was that I'm super blessed." I just don't think that, that's true. I think that those people, and by those people I mean people who are desperate for Jesus wherever they're at in the world, people who are desperate for Jesus and they're not clinging on to hope found in money, or security, but they're clinging on to hope found in Jesus I think they're way more blessed than we are bro.
Jerrad: And I envy that kind of blessing. I look at our brothers and sisters around the world who don't have any money or security and they can't put their hope in a bank account, or a nice hospital, or health care system, and they are so dependent on Jesus. I look at them and I'm like, "Man, I want to be blessed like that." I mean, I don't ... Really I don't because it scares me even saying that, like scares me but I do. I'm envious of the way that they're blessed, and that they get to be dependent and fall in love with Jesus, and have a relationship with Jesus that I have yet to experience. I want to be blessed like that. I love you guys I hope that's helpful for you. Have a good rest of your day. Later.
Jerrad: I want to take a minute just to thank our sponsor Circle With Disney for sponsoring this episode. Just this week I was sitting on my couch, and I was playing on my phone, and I got this notification that says, "Your time has expired." Which is one of my favorite features of the Circle device. I've talked about this before but Circle is this little device that connects to your Wi-Fi and it tracks all of the usage on all of your devices, in your house. And so, I have a time limit set on my phone that basically tells me, "Dude, you've been spending way too much time on your phone and on the internet today."
Jerrad: And it shuts it off. It actually like shuts off the internet, either completely on my phone or on specific apps that I set up. So not only is it tracking my kids and their internet usage in the house, but it's also tracking my internet usage and it's just a super good reminder for me to set down my phone and be fully present with my kids. If you want to pick up one of these devices, you can go to Meetcircle.com, use the promo code Dad Tired you'll get $10 dollars off and free shipping. Again, go to Meetcircle.com, use the promo code Dad Tired to get $10 off and free shipping.
Jerrad: Just as a friendly reminder Sunday, May 13th is Mother's Day, which is just about a month away, so you're going want to start thinking through gifts right now. My friends over at Backgate Prayers make these beautiful custom prayer cards with your kids' pictures on them, and then they actually put the names of your kids in each of the prayer. So they're really beautiful, beautifully displayed. This is like a really good gift for your wife and your mother.
Jerrad: A lot of the guys in the Dad Tired group get these for their wife for their birthday or for Christmas but as I said, Mother's Day is just around the corner and this would be a really, really good gift for both your wife and your mother, because they make grandparent additions as well. Go to Backgateprayers.com, use the promo code Dad Tired, that'll get 10% percent off your order. And listen, you should do it now because it takes a couple weeks for them to make those custom cards. So go to Backgateprayers.com, use the promo code Dad Tired to get 10% off.
Jerrad: If you were to pull up the Instagram app or the Facebook app right now and just like search the #Blessed, you'd find all kinds of things, some of which might actually be inappropriate now that I'm thinking of it, so maybe you should cautiously do this. But just for an experiment sake, just like go and search the #Blessed sometime and see what you can find. You're likely going to find tons of smiles, lots of like pretty things, people on vacation, new cars, promotions at work, cute kids, new outfits. You're just going to find like tons and tons of smiles associated with the #Blessed because typically, not just in our culture but really around the world, like we associate good things as blessings.
Jerrad: Whether you get a new house or got a new job or got a promotion at work or God gave you this cute kid or whatever, like these are all good things and so we consider them blessings. And I used to think that, that was just like an American thing, but I've actually come to find out that, that's like the whole world thing, because here's what you're not going to find when you search the #Blessed, you're not going to find people who are depressed. Nobody is like losing their job or getting a bad diagnosis at work and then like shooting a selfie, like #Blessed, I just lost my job, blessed. Nobody is doing that. We associate not just, again as Americans but really in humanity, good things as blessings.
Jerrad: You see this all the way back in Jesus's day, like his disciples they really ... And back in Jesus' day they highly valued good things. Like they wanted status, and strength, and big armies, and wealth, like these were considered blessings in their culture just like it would be in our culture. Even the disciples were constantly fighting with each other and bickering among each other like, "Hey, who's going to be the greatest in God's kingdom and Jesus's kingdom?" Because they really thought like, "Dude we're like we're like homeboys with Jesus and like we're in, and like we got picked. We're kind of a rag tag team here, but we got picked to be Jesus's guys and we get to sit next to Jesus."
Jerrad: And they're literally like bickering among themselves like who's going to get what seat next to Jesus and all this stuff, because they too had this idea that to be blessed, to be part of Jesus's culture and to be part of Jesus's kingdom meant like good things. You're going to get, like probably be part of this palace and have more money and you're going to build up an army and we're going to like be the best, and the strongest, and the greatest in the world. And this is ... Really like that hasn't changed. That's why I'm saying, go search the #Blessed, like you're going to find the exact same things that people value as blessings today, as they did thousands and thousands of years ago.
Jerrad: The crazy thing is, when you open up the Scriptures, blessing especially in the New Testament looks a lot different than what you see on Instagram, hashtag for blessed, these crazy like moments. One of the first times Jesus ever gives a message in the Scriptures, and again his disciples are like, they have been following him for a while and they're like arguing about who's going to be the greatest. And they had all these ideas of what it meant to be a Christian and to be in Jesus's kingdom and to have Jesus as their king. And they really thought that this was going to mean like more wealth, more prosperity, more stuff, more status. And then Jesus opens up his very first message, and he gives this like crazy flip their world upside down kind of speech. And here's where it is, it's a Matthew five verse three, is where I'm going to start.
Jerrad: And this is Jesus's first message to the people. It's the first time in Scripture we see him like to give this
message. It's called the Sermon on the Mount, which just means he gave it on a mountain. It's like the first time Jesus teaches and he's on a mountain, so they called it the Sermon on the Mount, in verse three, Matthew five verse three, it says this, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Jerrad: Now dude, that's like jolting for us and it would have been super jolting for them. Think about the disciples who have been oppressed people for hundreds and hundreds of years, and then they've been waiting for a messiah, a king to rise up to come and to rescue them from slavery, from oppression from hurt. And finally, this guy Jesus shows up and he says, "Hey, that messiah, that rescuer, that king that you've been waiting for, I'm here, I'm it, I'm here to save you, to rescue you." And they think like, "Finally, finally I've been going through junk, I've been going through these hard times for a long time. Our family for generation after generation has been going through these hard times and finally God has showed up, a messiah has showed up, a king has showed up who's going to like save us and get us out of this mess. And finally, we are going to be blessed."
Jerrad: And their idea of blessing would have been again, an army, a kingdom, a king who like takes over the world, that they would have lots of stuff and good stuff to eat and drink. And they wouldn't have to worry about money anymore, and that all their pain, and insecurity, and hopelessness would be taken away. And then Jesus opens up, in verse three of Matthew and he says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit ..." He's using words like poor and blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the meek, blessed are those who are hungry and thirsty, blessed are the merciful, pure in heart, blessed are those who are persecuted. It's crazy, he literally takes their idea of what it means to be blessed and he flips it on its head. Everything that they thought it meant to be blessed was just like totally shaken up.
Jerrad: There's nothing that you would ever search on an Instagram #Blessed, where you would find people who are like boasting because they are blessed because they're poor in spirit, or because they're mourning, or because they're meek, or because they're hungering and thirsting for righteousness. That's not even like cue churchy language, that's like they're starving for something that they don't have. Nobody is hashtagging blessed when they're trying to be merciful or pure in heart, or looking for peace in the midst of chaos, or when they're persecuted. And nobody is hashtagging, selfieing that, right? There's this guy in the Facebook ... We have an online closed group of Dad Tired guys. There's thousands of guys in that group now who listen to this podcast and then they go over to Facebook.
Jerrad: There's a closed group where we all just kind of continually try to pray for each other and encouraging each other and push each other towards what it means to be a faithful follower of Jesus, who was leading their family well, being the best husband that we can be, being the best dad that we can be. It's a really cool group. I've never seen anything like it. Guys in the group I always say like, "This is the most unique group on Facebook." It's a group of guys, thousands of men from around the world who are genuinely and seriously trying to take this stuff seriously. There's a guy in this group his name is Caleb. He's actually been part of the group for a long time, I've never met him, he lives in Florida. PS, I'll be in Florida in May, so I'll try to keep you on details on that, so that we can get a group together to hang out.
Jerrad: But anyway, there's a guy named Caleb, he lives in Florida. And he's been part of the group for a long time, I like him. I always see his name pop up, he's always commenting on stuff and he just ... He and I have always ... Just from a distance it feels like have been friends and I've just kind of watched him and resonated with a lot of stuff that he's said. But anyway, I know Caleb is going through some stuff right now, and I asked him ... We've been talking over Facebook Messenger, I asked him if he would just share a little bit of where he's at like today. Not like testimony from 15 years ago but like, where you at like right now? And so, he was gracious and humble enough to come talk to us about where he's at right now. So just take a few minutes and listen to his story.
Caleb: In high school got caught up in drugs, started smoking weed and then it went to popping pills and drinking all the time. That went on for, I guess from the age of like 16 till, see my wife and I met in 2012, so to the age of 22. And so the night that I met her, I made a promise to God and to myself that I'd stop using, never use again and just kind of turn away from it. And it worked for a while, life kind of happened, lots of craziness happened. I started working, doing water restoration again, which was the job I did while my wife and I were dating, and was kind of what I was doing when I was at the end of my using cycle. I guess you could say.
Caleb: What really sucks is my wife's never seen me, she's never seen me high, never see me on drugs, never seen any of that happen. And she didn't really notice much of a difference that I'm aware of anyways even when I was using the pills again. I started using pills again whenever Hurricane Irma hit down here in Florida. And I was working 16, 18, 20 hour days, going in, helping people in their houses. Just trying to help people. And I had a guy who I considered a friend, offered me some pills and I was like, "You know one or two, that's not hurt, right?" And it ended up hurting really bad, because it went from one and two to about anywhere from eight to ten a day.
Caleb: And it was really tough because in the middle of all of this, I'm like really involved at the church that were in and with the kids' ministry, and serving in the kids' ministry, and teaching the kids on a Sunday morning. When I would walk into church Sunday morning I'd have already taken two or three pills before getting up there to teach the kids. So this was back in September that everything started and then beginning of February is when it all kind of came to an end, when it came out that in December I had taken three or four pills at one time, walked into a lady's house saw a Rolex watch and took it. And I just kind of really messed myself up from there.
Caleb: Ended up losing my job. At first, I didn't know what to do man, because I loved the job I was working. The guy that worked for I've known him practically my entire life, so not only did I hurt him personally but I hurt the business a little bit too. It's hard for me to even talk to him anymore after everything I've done. It's hard for me to look at my parents the same way, because I'm like, "Here I am, the middle of five kids and the drug addicted child, who was supposed to be a pastor." I started going to counseling with one of the pastors at church, getting all the biblical counseling.
Caleb: And just really coming to realize that the only way that I would ever get clean and stay clean is to truly come to know Christ and to truly ... I've known Christ almost my entire life, I've known about Christ should I say. I would say that I truly gave myself over to Christ back in 2012 and just ran away from him over the last year and just over the last two months it's been tough trying to run back to him. But this Sunday will be 60 days clean, which is exciting. It's super exciting for me because I was five and a half years clean before that, so that's one thing I'm celebrating but I'm just really working through, still trying to stay away from the temptation.
Jerrad: I don't think anybody would listen to Caleb's story and be like, "Man that dude is super blessed." He's definitely not like posting on any social media and using the #Blessed based on what he's like currently going through right now. But the crazy thing man, is I feel like Jesus would look at Caleb and he would be like, "You are blessed." Like Caleb is the description, like he's what Jesus is describing in Matthew five when he says, "Blessed are those who are mourning, blessed are those who are meek, who feel weak, who are hungering and thirsting for righteousness." And it begs the question like, you hear stories like that and you hear Jesus say those kind of people like Caleb, Caleb right now is blessed.
Jerrad: And it begs the question like, why? Like why the heck would we hear that story and say that he is blessed?
Well, here's what I think, I think that in our culture we look at a blessing as anything that helps us get closer to our goal. And for many of us, our goal is like more money, more health, good bank accounts, our kids being successful and obedient, our house looking good, our car that drives well. Like all these nice things that when you're searching Facebook and Instagram and you look at the #Blessed, like those are the things that we consider blessing, and so we feel blessed when something is helping us get closer to that goal.
Jerrad: So if we get a promotion at work, or we're able to get a new house, or we go the doctor and they tell us we're healthy or our kids are healthy or whatever, then we can say, "Man, look how much God has blessed me. Man, God has really helped me get closer to my goal." I think that's what the disciples were going [inaudible 00:16:04], at the end of the day what they really wanted was like to feel valuable, to feel like the sense of not being scared anymore, not oppressed. That they would have some kind of status in the world, and Jesus was going to help them get closer to their goal, and so they wanted to be blessed just like you and I want to be blessed and helping us like, "Jesus can you help me get closer to my goal?"
Jerrad: And Jesus was saying to his disciples and because we see it in Scripture it's not just for his disciples, it's for us that our goal as a follower of Jesus is not stuff. It's not status, it's not security, it's not safety, it's not a bigger bank account, it's not a job that pays well, our goal as followers of Jesus is Jesus. And I think that's what he was trying to teach in Matthew five, is that as a follower of me, no longer do you look at all these other things as your goal, you look at me as your goal. I Jesus, am your goal. I am your goal as a follower of me. And that's why you can look at situations like those who are broken, and meek, and weak and hungering and thirsting, and those who are poor in spirit, and those who are crushed, and those who are being persecuted and you can say, "I'm blessed because it's forcing me to get closer to my goal. And my goal now is Jesus."
Jerrad: Like I can assure you, that Caleb is praying in ways that he wasn't praying a year ago. Like a year ago, he may have been finding hope and joy and satisfaction and other things. He may have considered other things a blessing like, "Man, yeah my job is taking care of me. Maybe these pills are taking care of me or whatever. Like I feel better when I have this X, Y, Z." Whatever X, Y, and Z is. "I feel better." And Jesus was saying, "Listen as a follower of Jesus like that's not your goal, that stuff will fail you." And now, when like you're broken and you're making like, "Crap, like I don't have my life together. I've been caught in my sin, I'm broken. I'm hurting." Caleb is now praying in ways I assure you, in ways that he wasn't praying six months ago, a year ago.
Jerrad: And Jesus would say like, "Now you're blessed. At the moment you recognize that you are weak and you are broken and you can't do this on your own, that you desperately need a savior is when you're actually blessed, because you're getting closer to me in ways that you never have before." And the reason I wanted Caleb to share his story is because I read the comments in the Facebook group every day and I listen to many of you who are going through a divorce, or through hard times in your marriage, or your kids are sick, or they're being disobedient, you've lost your job, you're going through really hard times. And I know that for many of us, the tendency is to try to get back to this place where we feel like, "God, would you just bless me? Would you help me out? Could you give me a little relief here?"
Jerrad: And I think that Jesus would look at you bro like who's going through difficult times, whether it's as little as like, "Man, I can't get my kids to listen and to be obedient," or something as big as like, "Man, my wife is about to leave," or "We about to get a divorce," or, "My kid is terminally ill." Wherever the hardship is, wherever you're out on that hardship spectrum I think Jesus would look at you and say, "Actually in the midst of your hard, hurting, brokenness you're blessed, not as the world defines blessed, not as the way that you can search a hash tag and see all the smiles and pretty pictures, but you're blessed because you're going to get closer to me than you ever have before. You're going to get dependent on me in ways you never have before."
Jerrad: And there's no greater blessing than to realize that we are broken and incapable of having our souls satisfied outside of Jesus. Wherever you're searching to be blessed, to get closer to your goals, Jesus would break it and say, "There's nothing, there's nothing that's better than finding your hope and your joy and your rest in me." And listen, I know that, that doesn't make sense for many of you who are hurting right now. Like, man you tell me I take my kid ... if I take my kids to the doctor right now and I get some kind of diagnosis, man I could get choked up even thinking about it. And to think that somehow I could say that, that's a blessing, that only makes sense in the kingdom. There's no way that makes sense in any other planet. Is that I could look at sickness, and I can look at losing my job, and I could even look at death and I could say, "I'm blessed."
Jerrad: This is why Paul said, "To live is Christ and to die is gain." Dude, that doesn't make sense anywhere except in the Christian faith, that doesn't make sense. What Paul is saying is, "If I get to live, then I'm blessed. I get to be part of the advancement of God's kingdom in the world. I get to raise my kids to love Jesus." Not for Paul specifically, but for us. Like to live means that we get to raise our kids to fall in love with Jesus, that we get to be part of his advancement and his redemption of the world back to himself. Like that's amazing. But Paul said that, "Even if I die, I still gain." Why? Why in the world would Paul say that death is a gain? Well, because he's saying he's getting closer to his goal.
Jerrad: His goal was Jesus and literally life or death, it didn't matter, no circumstance could stop him from falling more in love of Jesus. Even the worse things that you throw at him, he'd say, "You're just helping me get closer to my goal." And dude, that's what I want for us as men, is to say, "It doesn't matter what situation you throw at me, whether I'm caught in sin or I confess my brokenness, or I lose my job, or there's sickness, or even death I can say that I am getting closer to my goal and that's Jesus. And so, I will rejoice. I will worship and I will praise God despite my circumstances. In the middle of my circumstances I will worship and recognize it as a blessing, because my goal is no longer more stuff or security, my goal is Jesus. And this circumstance is actually pointing me and forcing me to get closer to Jesus than I've ever been."
Jerrad: So dude, if you're struggling right now. If you feel like you are not blessed, I would remind you to look at Matthew five. And I think Jesus would say you're actually way more blessed than you think you are. Sometimes I cringe when people say, "God bless you brother." A lot of times I speak at a church or I'll go speak somewhere and people come up to me and they'll say, "God bless you brother." And I'll say, "Man, before you put that on me, please don't throw those words around lightly because listen, I don't think blessing is actually what we think about as blessing, more stuff or more hope, or security. I think blessing is actually when we're broken to the point where more desperate for God than we've ever been, and I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of blessing if I'm honest."
Jerrad: I love you guys man. I hope that's encouraging to you. I know there's a lot of you guys going through some stuff right now and I pray that man you would fall in love with Jesus, that you would recognize that you are actually way more blessed, that Caleb is way more blessed than he feels and that he thinks in this situation. That you, wherever you're at, if you feel like you're in the thick of it, if you feel like you're just trudging through the mud, that you're actually blessed, bro it's a perspective change to recognize that you get to fall in love with Jesus, man ... I know I'm going on tangent here, but I get to travel the world a lot.
Jerrad: I get to go ... I've done a lot of "mission trips," I've been a lot of third world countries and it hurts my heart so much when I hear people come back from a third world country and say, "Man, the thing that I learned the most was that I'm super blessed." I just don't think that, that's true. I think that those people, and by those people I mean people who are desperate for Jesus wherever they're at in the world, people who are desperate for Jesus and they're not clinging on to hope found in money, or security, but they're clinging on to hope found in Jesus I think they're way more blessed than we are bro.
Jerrad: And I envy that kind of blessing. I look at our brothers and sisters around the world who don't have any money or security and they can't put their hope in a bank account, or a nice hospital, or health care system, and they are so dependent on Jesus. I look at them and I'm like, "Man, I want to be blessed like that." I mean, I don't ... Really I don't because it scares me even saying that, like scares me but I do. I'm envious of the way that they're blessed, and that they get to be dependent and fall in love with Jesus, and have a relationship with Jesus that I have yet to experience. I want to be blessed like that. I love you guys I hope that's helpful for you. Have a good rest of your day. Later.
