A Widower's Perspective (with Brandon Janous)

In March 2020, Dad Tired community member Brandon Janous lost his wife to cancer after a two year battle. She was 38 and a mother 3. Today's episode will no doubt shift your perspective and priorities as you hear Brandon share with Jerrad what he has learned as a new widower, and what he wishes he would have done differently.

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A note from brandon

Seventy-eight times. They said “Daddy,” seventy eight times in about eight hours on a recent road trip we took. That’s 9.75 “Daddy’s,” per hour. They used to be able to say “Mommy,” but she went to be with Jesus a few months ago. So now, I get the “Mommy,” and the “Daddy,” whenever they need something.

Gosh, I miss her. She was and still is a superhero. I’m not sure that I realized that until it was too late. I knew she was amazing. I knew she was an awesome wife and an incredible mom. But I don’t think I knew she was a superhero. 

On March 1st, at 4:34 pm, the love of my life went to her eternal home and finally got to dance with Jesus. On March 1st, at 4:34 pm, Rachel was totally and completely healed. She has no more pain. She has no more doctors appointments. There will be no more chemo or radiation. The uncertainty of what treatment plan to try next is now forever gone. She is healed and she is in the arms of the only man that loves her more than I ever could. 

Did I mention how much I miss her? How much we all miss her. If you ever got the chance to meet her, you automatically became a better person. I’m just so glad she chose me. I’m glad I got to be by her side for 10 years. I’m glad that she never gave up on me even when I didn’t deserve her. I’m glad she chose me to fight the fight with her. And as ugly as death can be, I’m so glad I got to be there in the hospital room with her for 39 days and nights as she ministered to person after person that came into that room. 

You see, I wasn’t watching Rachel die in that hospital room. I was watching her live and love in a way that allowed her life to change the world. Each day, I had a front row seat to something so beautiful. Even in all the brokenness and in what could have been so ugly, Rachel chose to find the beauty.

“I know that I’m dying. I’m at peace with that. And at this point, where I am today, all I have left to give is Jesus.” 
- Rachel Janous

And boy did she have a lot of Jesus to give. She taught us all how to be better. To hug longer. To love harder. And in the end, she taught us that no matter where we are today, all we have left to give is Jesus.

I’m so glad she chose me. Everyday I’m glad. She chose me, till death do us part. ​