3 Things not to do when making a major life decision

I miss the days where my biggest life-decisions were what I was going to eat for hot lunch, and what sport I would play during recess.

I also miss recess in general.

It seems like the older you get, the heavier ours decisions become. They carry weight.

I remember early on in marriage when I realized that my sinful decisions didn’t just impact me, but they now had consequences for my wife as well. That math has only quadrupled as we have grown our family with kids.

Decisions matter.

So how, as Christians, do we approach the forks in the road that life throws at us; from what job to take to where to live as a family?

Here are three things to consider when faced with a major life decision:

1.) Don’t Base Your Decision On A Pros & Cons List

It’s natural. We are all taught to step back from our reality and weigh the benefits of each decision that is to be made. In many ways, this is wisdom. But as Christians, we don’t make decisions through the lens of conventional wisdom, we make them through the lens of the Kingdom. In other words, the question we should be asking is, “What is best for the Kingdom?”. Not, “What is best for me?”.

If the heroes of Scripture would have based their decisions on a list of pros and cons, you and I would likely not know Jesus today. It didn’t make sense for Abraham to leave his home and go to an unknown land. It didn’t make sense for David the shepherd boy to face a giant murderer. It didn’t make sense for Daniel to keep praying when faced with death by lions. It didn’t make sense for the disciples to leave their jobs to follow Jesus, and it didn’t make sense for the followers in Acts to lose their life for the sake of the Gospel.

Following Jesus doesn’t always make sense. At least not in the way that we typically view “wisdom”.

The next time you are faced with a major decision, don’t ask, “Will this make us happy?”, but instead ask, “Will this allow us to make disciples?”, “Does this remove distractions from our lives in order to fall more in love with Jesus?”, and “Will this decision offer temporary satisfaction or eternal benefits for the Kingdom of Jesus?”

“The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 2:14.

2.) Don’t Get The World’s Advice

People are awesome. I love being surrounded by people from all walks of life and hearing an array of perspectives. But let’s be honest, people are crazy.

Ok, that may be a little overstated.

But seriously, they are. Or should I say, we are.

It is impossible for someone to give you advice without bringing in parts of their personal life and agenda. This doesn’t mean that all advice is bad, but it does mean that it is slanted, even if slightly.

When facing a major life decision, surround yourself with a few people who love the Lord and are more concerned about the Gospel than they are your comfort. In moments like these, you need wisdom from God-fearing saints, not your Cheeto-eating second cousin who has an opinion for everything on Facebook.

3.) Don’t Be Divided

This one is for you married folk.

When you stood at the alter and committed to your spouse, you made the decision to die to yourself and become one with another person. You are no longer two individuals fighting for yourself, but rather, one unit, under God, seeking unity in every situation.

I have had many men come to me frustrated because they feel like the Lord is telling them to do something, and yet their wife does not feel good about it. My advice is always the same; we know that God does not purposely divide marriages. So, if he has made something clear to you, then you patiently wait for him to give that same clarity to your spouse.

In the meantime, you should be ultra intentional about setting aside time to pray and fast together. Your main priority in these moments is to seek clarity and unity. Hear me loud and clear, this is not the time to persuade your partner, but rather, join them in hearing the voice and call of God. Don’t stop praying until you both have clarity, and most certainly do not move forward until there is unity.

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