Feel like you're headed toward emotional, spiritual and physical burn out as a dad? In today's episode, host Jerrad Lopes shares 4 indicators of burnout, and how to avoid it as a husband, father, and disciple.
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Indicators Of A Burnout And How To Avoid It
Jerrad: One of the [1:56] analogies that I find myself frequently using is the analogy of lights going off on a dashboard of a car so I've talked about that in the start behaving devotional and the dad tired and loving a book but I often say our souls have dashboards and there are indicators that happen in our life where we can recognize something's going on poorly under the hood just like a car would give you some kind of light to indicate hey you may want to check your engine is when you pop the hood you going to realize something's going wrong under there and we're trying to warn you before something goes too wrong that should probably check this out and I think in the same way [2:31] our souls have these indicators these lights on a dashboard of our soul that say hey you want you might want to pull over and check under the hood because there might be something going on under there that if it's not addressed quickly is going to turn into a much bigger deal it's funny man because a few months ago maybe even just weeks ago I was in a church I think it was in Ohio and I was talking about I did to a podcast there are I spoke there and I did a podcast interview on another podcast called core for life and I was talking about how essentially there's a difference between having a tired body and a tired soul and all of us have tired bodies man like if your dad listening to this I don't care if you have one kid or a hundred kids I don't care if you're 20 years old or 200 years old like all of us are tired moms are tired dads are tired single people are tired everybody's just tired like we all have a ton of stuff going on when's the last time you [3:25] ran into somebody and you're like hey how are you and they said I'm really well rested I feel really good most people say I am good but tired like that comes up all the time and so I talked about in this podcast interview where I was a guest on there's a difference between having a tired body and a tired soul tired bodies that's okay that's expected we should all probably have that if we're working hard and doing things that God has called us to but tired souls if our soul is weary if our soul is tired [3:52] then we can recognize that there might be something deeper happening underneath the hood and when I was sharing on the podcast I was talking about how my body even in that moment we recorded that podcast really late at night and I had been traveling the day before and I was just physically exhausted and I said I'm really physically tired but my soul is not weary and I meant that when I said it I just felt like I was in a good spot with the Lord and I was kind of firing off all cylinders again my body was tired but my soul felt refreshed I was just felt like I was being part of the things that God has doing well I come home you fast for a little bit I come home and we're a few weeks maybe a month or so removed from that [4:30] and I'm starting to notice these indicators on my dash of my soul that are like hey something might be going on under the hood and that's hard for me to admit man my natural personality is to be productive sometimes I in an unhealthy way can find identity and I feel better about myself if I'm getting a lot of things done but I think that's true for all of us as men especially to some degree I think all of us like to be productive and in fact I even feel like God has wired us in many ways he put us in the garden to work and to cultivate it and when we're working and when were accomplishing things it's there's a sense of like I'm getting stuff done I feel accomplished I was meant to do this those are all really good feelings [5:10] but I started to feel this sense of like alright I'm working I'm working really hard im getting stuff done and yet my soul is starting to feel weary I'm starting to feel tired and not again not just physically tired but like my soul is starting to feel tired and so it's almost again it's kind of embarrassing to say that for a few reasons one because I just was talking about maybe a month ago [5:33] where I said my soul isn't tired but I feel like I'm doing really good and two I like to be productive I like to get stuff done and so for me to admit that like I'm having I'm struggling can be harder for me to do that sometimes what's interesting man is on our closed we have a closed dad tired community where guys talk about the podcast episodes and all kinds of other things in life and I posed a question in that community where I was asking I said what are you currently dealing with what kind of subjects should we tackle on the podcast based on what you're currently dealing with and then I posed that same question to our email list and I just wrote on there like a what kinds of things are you struggling with right now in your marriage in your personal life and the amount of guys that wrote back [6:13] and just talked about in some form like they use in some kind of words basically we're saying I feel tired I feel weary I'm exhausted really stuck out to me because honestly that's I feel that in my own spirit right now I feel tired and so what I want to do today is really give you four ways that I personally recognize start to recognize in myself that my soul is starting to get exhausted that I'm on the verge of a potential burnout know I want a caveat that by saying I am not a licensed counselor I have no medical degree whatsoever [6:48] so this is in no way am I diagnosing you or like you go through this list and and this is if you check some things off of this list and you got some medical diagnosis please please please just take all of what I say with tons of salt not just a grain of salt like pour salt all over it because I honestly dude I don't really know what I'm talkin about which is why I'm saying these are ways that I personally recognize in myself okay I'm headed towards burnout and so maybe you relate to some of that that's the goal that I'm trying to accomplish here I also want to say that years ago maybe ten years ago 15 years ago when I started to experience the same kind of feelings or signs on my soul's dashboard honestly dude it sent me into a deep tailspin [7:31] I would kind of spiral out of control id start to have really big thoughts about life and what am I doing with my life and maybe I don't know what I'm going to do I'm floundering and start to have really big emotions based on these signals on my soul's dashboard I can say now as I'm slowly edging my way into more maturity and a little bit more wisdom as a little bit more older of a man I've got more gray hair on my head and in my beard I'm just learning okay these are just signs do you like you don't have to freak out you just pull over and you address them it's not like you didn't get in a crash your car didn't explode [8:08] everything's not falling apart these are warning signs that you need to deal with it when you deal with it everything's going to be okay and so I just want to say like for those of you as I'm admitting to you that I'm I'm feeling these kind of early signs of burnout and maybe you are too it's not a cause for panic like you don't have to freak out everything going to fall apart I know some of that feels like that but as we grow and maturity we recognize ok these are just God given God is gracious enough to give us these signs that tell us alright man something going on under the hood and just pull over and address it so here are four signs that I typically see in myself when I'm recognizing that I am on the road to burn out and something needs to be addressed so the first one [8:51] is when a bad day turns into a bad week or a bad month or months or maybe years hopefully not years but it what started out as like a bad day turns into like a long season of bad periods of time sorry for my poor English there you know it ends up going longer than just that one day here's what I mean like when I came back from I was in a season of speaking over and over and over I was I was in a season of speaking 3 weeks in a row [9:21] and feeling really refreshed and feeling good and then I got home and I had a little bit of break and I got home and that week was a little bit difficult and I feel like I'm just probably tired I got jet lag and I've been moving a lot for the last 3 weeks and so I probably just need to rest a little bit and so you maybe have a bad day kind of here and there in that week back and then all the sudden the next week doesn't feel like you're really picking up momentum are you getting back in the swing of things and now several weeks removed or maybe a month removed and every week is kind of felt like you just on this downward trajectory of your soul feeling tired [9:52] and so maybe for you you know you had a bad day and you just kind of chalked it up to well we all have bad days and that's part of life you just wake up and move on and if you woke up and you move on and you're like you're able to put that bad day behind you that's all it was man's bad day you know no big deal we all have bad days and so you suck it up and you you learn from it and you move on but maybe that bad day turned into another bad day and maybe he's got a streak of like two or three of those in a row or maybe it's turned into two or three weeks in a row maybe it's turned into a month or so in a row wear everyday kind of feels like a bad day and where you just can't get anything done where you have no motivation you have no joy and so that would be to me and that is for me one of the first signs of burnout is okay bad days are normal we're all going to have bad days discouraging days Jesus even promise that things are going to be difficult there's gonna be persecution and suffering and hard things like we know that no problem but when that turns into days and weeks and again not just that my body's tired but my soul is feeling tired for weeks on end [10:58] that's probably a light on your souls dashboard the saying you might be headed in a direction that needs to be addressed so that would be number one for me is bad day turned into bad days or bad weeks or bad months so ask yourself that how long has the streak been going on for you the second thing I would say this is how my soul's dashboard a light that comes on an indicator for me is when you find yourself distancing from other people this is a big one for me I am naturally introverted [11:28] so I don't mind alone time I'm okay hanging out by myself for long periods of time I can refuel and refresh by being alone no problem I think a lot of you may be like that you're podcast listeners throw on some headphones just get some like personal time no problem that's not a big deal at all but when that goes maybe weeks or months and now I'm purposely avoiding time with people that I actually care about now that's the caveat especially if you're an introvert like me I'm not saying that you need to go to these social gatherings all the time and like mix it up with the crowds and maybe if your extroverted you know that you're saying but I'm talking about are you avoiding personal relationships that normally would be life-giving relationships for you even as an introvert so if you're introverted [12:15] it might be like a I'm not spending time with family or close friends I haven't made a call to check in on my family or friends in a while nobody's or I am avoiding people who are calling me maybe I'm avoiding certain conversations at work just because I don't really want to talk to anybody people that I would normally be life-giving for me to like have over hey let's grab lunch or come over for dinner or let's grab a beer whatever now it actually I'm just that doesn't sound appealing at all I don't want to be around anyone or maybe if you're extroverted and you normally love being around people and now you just find yourself not doing that on purpose you're avoiding all that these would be signs that like ah man not to over spiritually but they could potentially be signs that you're experiencing burnout and or that are potentially signs that the enemy is just trying to isolate you which is in my opinion one of the most effective tactics of the enemy [13:04] is to get you alone like even physically where you're not talking to people you're not around people you're not having good conversations and deep and meaningful life giving rich conversations with people you're starting to spend more time in your head you say more words in your head then you say to people out loud that's a sign for me and it may be a sign for you that you are headed towards burnout that you are not giving life-giving relationships a chance and instead you are spending a lot of time in your head that is a big indicator that you are moving towards burnout [13:41] so ask yourself are you avoiding meaningful relationships at this point in your life third one I'd say is you're overly tired and you constantly just want to sleep or you constantly feel fatigued even maybe after a long night's rest maybe even got 8 hours of rest and you still wake up just feeling exhausted now again if you got young kids man I got a newborn [14:02] a two-year-old and then two older ones so we’re all tired man and if you're a dad or you're tired of your mom listening to this right now we’re tired right that's totally part of the game and I'm used to it like last ten years of my life I'm used to kind of just feeling tired all the time but there's a different kind of tired like for me it's in the middle of the day I'm just I want to take a nap everyday and I want to take a long nap and I again that happened like once I took a nap and there's like alright you know my body just tired today didn't get a good night sleep as we all don't really as good as young parents so maybe you want to take a nap but then I found myself days and days and days when take a nap and then I wake up and I'm still tired it's just a different kind of tired and you know what I'm talking about I would say after I have these kind of moment I took like 2 days in a row I took a nap and I woke up and I asked Leila did you drug me [14:53] you putting stuff in my drink like I'm just so tired like my body feels abnormally tired right now and so maybe you're experiencing that it's kind of a fatigue that's deeper than your normal tired and that might be a sign that your soul is like just craving rest and your body's trying to catch up with you and so if that's you if you're not sleeping well and you feel tired and fatigued beyond your normal tired and fatigued it's kind of at a deeper level that might be a sign that you were on the road to burnout and the last one I'll say is this we could give 50 signs that you are on the verge of burnout but we'll just do these four here for the sake of time when small things cause you to be overly angry or irritable or I'm going to kinda add one here when things start to feel personal [15:45] about your identity and so essentially what I'm saying is when little things start to feel much bigger than they really are I have found myself snapping at my kids more than I normally would again raising kids is hard man I got a toddler that's taking sharpie to everything right now and spills milk 15 times a day like all of it its tired and we’re irritable in it we're working on our patience and all that but I'm not just talking about the normal parenting kind of discipline all the time and you're frustrated all the time [16:20] I'm talking about your snapping your fuse is just much much shorter man I have felt this my family honestly has probably suffered the consequences of me having a tired and weary soul more than any one they get the short end of the stick man it sucks and literally just yesterday we'll talk about this here in a few minutes but just yesterday i had to apologize to my wife and my kids and just say I'm really sorry that my bad day now caused you to have a bad day and that I've ruined your day because I was in a funk and I'm sorry and so if you just find yourself being more more short and susceptible [16:55] to just yelling and kind of flying off the handle with your wife or with your kids or maybe at work man there's probably a light on your dashboard that's going off that saying hey pull over like pop the hood open something is going on under the hood that needs to be checked out right now so those are four of many signs for me that I am starting to experience burn out again when a bad day turns into a bad week or month when I find myself distancing from other people and kind of avoiding good relationships when I'm overly tired when I'm deeply fatigued or I'm wanting sleep more than normal and then when I'm just overly irritable and get angry too easily or when things start to feel personal about my agenda maybe have a loss at work [17:41] maybe you like you failed at something a simple project or maybe you did a presentation you didn't do good very good job or I don't know like maybe a or whatever the little failure or maybe you're a painter and you feel like you didn't do a very good job at one of the walls you painted I don't know I know nothing about painting i should have used that as an example but there's something small you did and all of a sudden that turns into an identity thing so that's this is kind of in line with that like you just overly short and irritable [18:06] and then you kinda take things real personal maybe start saying things like I'm a terrible painter I was never meant for this or I'm really bad at my job I shouldn't even do this anymore I feel like giving up I want to quit things that you know is not true like you're doing a fine job and you you've been doing this job for years but all of a sudden this week or in these weeks and months now all of a sudden you feel like giving up or you're making big identity statements about yourself I'm not good at this I'm not a good husband I'm not a good dad I'm not a good work or whatever it is you're making these big statements about your identity over honestly small things those would be indicators and those [18:44] I'm telling you that from experience man I'll have some kind of failure or what feels like a failure here in the DadTired world I'll do something where i feel like ah that wasn't a good episode or man this person gave me 1 out of 5 stars on my book or this person hated the podcast this week and they gave me a really bad review and I'll take that one and I'll just ruminate on it and i'll start to make big identity statements maybe I shouldn't be doing this [19:07] maybe I shouldn't do DadTired stuff maybe this isn't my calling maybe I should just go be a UPS driver and get away from everyone that's hitting two birds with one stone by the way that would be me wanting to get away from everyone and I'm starting to make big identity statements I'm telling you that very honestly from experience where I'm like I've thought in the last couple weeks maybe I should just give all this up and my first thought was how nice would it be just to sit in the car and drive and listen to music or a podcast and not have to deal with people all day those are signs on my dashboard that are telling me Jared you're in a bad place you need to pull over and address this before it gets worse [19:45] and so maybe you experience some of that maybe those are four of the things that you recognize in yourself that might like ah geez I've experienced all those or three of the four of those and I might be headed towards burnout if that's you then dude just pause for a second ask yourself honestly alright am I on the road to burn out and what needs to be done why does this matter for us as Christians like why do we even need to address this don't we all have bad days and we all have kind of seasons where we're tired Ecclesiastes there's a season for war and there's a season for peace and you know maybe I'm just in this season of war right now and this is normal I'm supposed to be tired why is this important well dude the truth is man I tell my kids this all the time as followers of Jesus our lives should be producing the fruits of the spirit [20:33] meaning if I'm a tree that claims to be a tree of Jesus then the fruits that come out of that tree should be the fruits of Jesus's life love joy peace patience kindness goodness self-control all these things are fruits of the spirit so I tell my kids listen we can claim to be Jesus followers all day long you can tell me you're a follower of Jesus till you're blue in the face but all the time Jesus is saying that we should just look at each other's fruits is the fruit of your life producing the things of Jesus does it look like the kingdom and so I just look at my life and I and if we just take that piece you know sometimes we would make things so churchy and so like theoretical well you know that's a nice if you have joy and you have peace and you have patience and you have kindness and you have goodness you have self-control but we don't really need those all the time like that's kind of unrealistic man Jesus is saying these are the things that his followers should be producing when you look at a Christian when you look in an apple tree it should be very obvious that those are apples growing on that tree that's an apple tree those are apples I know it's an apple tree because I see the apples right it's very obvious when somebody looks at a Christian [21:44] it should be very obvious oh yeah that's a Christian because they have love joy peace patience kindness goodness right they have all the fruits of the spirit growing and sprouting out of them so it's a very clear that person is a follower of Christ so why is this important because I want to represent Jesus to my family I want to represent Jesus to my wife and to my community and to the people around people look at me it should be contagious joy I'm not talking about just fluffy happiness but I'm talking about the fruits of the spirit should be pouring out of my life if [22:15] I'm a Jesus tree than the fruits of the tree should be the fruits of the spirit there's got to be a better way of saying that but I think you understand what I'm trying to say Psalm 34:14 says turn away from Evil and do good seek peace and pursue it again commandant like go after these things chase after these things Galatians 5:2 what we just talked about the fruit of the spirit the way that we know somebody is a Christian is a follower of Jesus is they produce love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness like these are the fruits that we should see in the people of God and so if I'm not seeing these fruits it's a big deal it's bigger than me just saying I need a little bit more rest so I'm just going through a bad season [22:59] man I want to reflect the Savior to everyone around me my family suffers dude my kids suffer if they don't see the fruits of the spirit in me they don't get the love and the joy and the peace and the patience and the kindness and the goodness and the faithfulness of God through me as their dad they get a dad who is irritable and short my wife gets that my co-workers get that the community around me gets that my neighbors get that right and so this is a big deal if your life is not producing the fruits of the spirit then we have to step back and [23:33] ask ourselves alright maybe it's time for me to pull over maybe I am on the road to burn out maybe I'm currently burned out and not only am I suffering but the people that I've been charged to lead around me are suffering as a result and so what does it look like for us as men to pull over the car and to say okay I'm headed down the road of burnout or maybe my car actually broke down and I am currently experiencing burnout and how do I get out of this so here's some thoughts that I have here some things that i personally do when I'm experiencing burn out that just help me turn the car [24:08] around to let the Holy Spirit come in and fix my soul so that I can get back and running and moving towards the things that God has called me to do number one first thing I do is I just check my habits how am I eating how am sleeping what am i consuming and what am I allowing to influence me I know this basic and hopefully you're not listening to this thing being like ah Jerrad’s new agey you know this you get all hippy-dippy on me and stuff if you go to a doctor and you feel like something's wrong with you it can be frustrating but maybe go to the doctor and you feel like something's really wrong and the first thing they do is prescribe like I used to have severe back pain like really really bad back pain I had herniated disc in my twenties in my back and I'm like do I need back surgery and I would go into the doctor's office and tell him how bad my back hurt and they would tell me [24:57] well you need to stretch and I'm just like come on can you do anything more like we start with some MRIs can be like check to see if I need some surgery here like there's got to be a better way than just telling me to stretch right but what the doctor does as they always start with the most simple things in the name move to the more complex and invasive things later and so maybe for you you just got to start with some simple stuff that's what I do for me I just start with some really simple things like how my eating [25:25] this contributes dude if you think that all the spiritual stuff that God is doing in you just happens in your mind and internally you are selling God short of all the ways that he is discipling you he is much more holistic than just having you have spiritual thoughts or using spiritual thoughts to disciple you yes God is changing your mind and your heart but God is also the God of your body and this world and God of science and he's the one who created this whole system and so all of these things blend together we are holistic beings and God is using all of who we are body mind soul to disciple us into make us more like him in to see his glory here on Earth and so it's okay to ask yourself like it's a spiritual thing to ask yourself how am I eating dude if you're eating junk all the time I'm speaking from experience I like downed a sleeve of Oreos [26:22] the other night and then I woke up feeling like poop could be the Oreos you know I don't need to over spiritualize things don't need to like it just stay in some deep spiritual thoughts in my head it could be the sleeve of Oreos that I ate the night before that is causing me to wake up and feel really terrible and so I think it's okay man to just ask yourself how are your eating habits this most definitely can contribute to how you're feeling how are your sleeping habits are you staying up till 12, 1, 2 in the morning waking up at 5 6 bro your bodys just probably tired and it's going to affect you mentally [26:55] how are your influences what are you listening to what are you watching I have the guys in our family leadership program do a self-assessment what are you allowing into your eyes and ears and maybe that stuff is contributing to the detriment of your soul I know for me personally if I watch too much news which I love man I love watching the news but if I watch too much of the news I start to become a wholly different person not holey hole but like fully different person completely different person I start to become more angry or fearful or worried or whatever I just it changes me man [27:29] and so I have to really evaluate the influences or maybe bad habits like maybe you come home from work and have a beer or maybe that turned into 3 beers maybe drinking 2 3 beers a night smoking maybe you doing some of the stuff just to kind of like calm the nerves bro it's probably affecting you it's probably having some kind of negative impact on you so just number one if you're on the road to burnout are currently experiencing burnout just check yourself and ask yourself what kind of habits am I having what are my sleep habits eat habits listening habits watching habits and just ask yourself is there something that needs to be cut out here that would be the the first thing to do here start simple and in the move to more complex things it could be you just need to drink water eat a meal and sleep better [28:09] and your soul might actually feel better that would be the first thing number two evaluate where you're currently trying to find rest if you look at John 14:27 it says this this is Jesus talking peace I leave with you my peace I give to you not as the world gives do I give it to you let not your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid jesus is essentially saying the world is going to offer you peace it's going to tell you here this thing will give you rest for your soul but it is not the peace that I give to you and so evaluate right now just take a minute and ask yourself where are you trying to find rest like maybe you look at rest as there's traffic going home and you're sitting bumper to bumper and you're just like you're stoked that you get thirty minutes of quiet and you're not moving anywhere maybe you are binging out on a Netflix show or maybe you're having a couple beers after work or maybe getting super into a sports thing or a hobby just ask yourself right now where are you currently trying to find rest list out in your life where you currently trying to find rest and then how is it working for you um here are some indicators that [29:20] you know it's not actually giving your soul rest think about what you go on vacation and you take a vacation and then you get home and you're actually more exhausted than before you went on vacation the thing that you thought was going to give you a rest made you more tired that's an indicator that something deepers happening under the soul and so maybe you're going to things to give you rest maybe I'll just watch this Netflix or I have a couple beers and watch a game or work on this hobby whatever the thing is maybe I'll purposely try to sit in traffic or take the long way home [29:47] so that I can have a little bit more time to myself how was it working is it actually giving your soul rest Jesus says he's the one that can give you peace the world is offering you peace but I can't give it to you like Jesus can and so what does it look like to exchange those moments where you're looking for rest in the wrong places and come back to the rest Giver The Peacemaker Jesus himself number three I would say invite your spouse into the process [30:16] and this is a big one man I think for a lot of us men we hold onto this stuff for a really long time we just try to knuckle white-knuckle bear down bite down on the mouthpiece move forward and just like not tell anyone about it not admit it to ourselves and certainly not admit to our spouse that we are actually not just physically tired but emotionally wrung out and I think one of the greatest gifts that you can do when you're in the middle of burnout are on the road to burn out is to actually invite your spouse into that process and even say I don't know what's going on but my soul is really tired [30:51] I just want you to know I'm not trying to be short with you I'm not mad at you I'm not bitter towards you I'm not trying to like make you my enemy I just my soul is tired and I'm trying to run to Jesus to find peace but just bear with me because during this particular season I'm really really emotionally and spiritually tired allow them into that process what it's going to do is just going to build intimacy which is actually deeply what you need right now [31:16] intimacy with God and intimacy with God's people especially your spouse so admit to them and maybe start your admission with an apology I'm sorry that I treated you the way I've treated you it's actually not about you at all it's about me and I'm feeling really tired and I should have figured that out earlier but I didn't and I'm sorry and I may have taken it out on you and I'm really sorry for that and I also want you to know I want you to be in this with me because you're my teammate and you are the partner that God is using to make me more like him that was a really long apology but that was literally I'm just repeating words that I've had to say to my wife recently and so maybe that's what you need to do man is repent to your wife and then ask her to be part of that process [31:58] and even if you'd be man enough if you'd have the guts to ask her would you just put your hand on my shoulder over to hug me or would you hold my hand and would you just pray that God would give me peace beyond all the other ways and I'm looking for peace bro I promise you not only is it going to bring a deeper relationship between you and your wife it's going to start you on the road to peace I promise you that number four I want you to zoom in and zoom out in here's what I mean by this number one zoom in is sometimes what causes our burnout [32:32] is we're constantly thinking about the future that I feel this often I'm always kind of anxious about the future as they call that future trippin right like you something that hasn't happened yet or something that you're anticipating is going to happen it causes you tons of anxiety and stress and it's robbing your peace and so for you you might be thinking about what is the rest of this year look like maybe it's financially maybe it's in your career or maybe it's in your family or your marriage but you're thinking about things in the future and it's causing you a ton of stress and so I think that one of the greatest things you can do like Jesus would say not do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of its own so instead of doing that so don't worry about tomorrow zoom in on today be content in today I've been trying to do this I've been going on a lot of walks in the evenings and I'm just trying to focus on the moment like right in the moment this just the other night I went on a walk up with the family to bed we have a school across the street from me so I walked around the track and then I was walking back home the sun was setting it was a warm summer night it was hot and and I'm just walking around and it was really really quiet just like so quiet in [33:39] the neighborhood I can hear a couple birds and I'm just walking and I remember just paying attention to all the little things like the warmth of the air on my face and how my body felt as it was moving and walking along the track and hearing the birds and seeing the clouds change colors in the sky change colors and those being so like in tune with that moment just like being in the fully present in that moment [34:06] started to lead me to like God thank you for today I got to wake up today and my body is moving and my kids are here and they're healthy and my wife is loves me and she's with me today and you have given me new mercy today I zoom instead of zooming out and thinking about all the things that I could stress about in the future I tried to zoom in as much as I can and just be fully present and thank God God you have me your grace and your mercy today you've given me your salvation today and that is enough [34:35] thank you Lord so maybe you need to zoom in or maybe you need to zoom out and so maybe today you're having a really crappy day you're having a really really hard day or maybe you having a really hard week and you're like me sometimes where you're making big assumptions about your life and your identity short-term circumstance so you might be having a bad day at work bad day in marriage and your and you just want to throw in the towel in everything you're like man marriage is hard I don't like being married I don't like working this job I don't like doing XYZ I don't being a dad hard we shouldn't have kids whatever like you're making big conclusions in a short-term season and [35:13] so maybe for you instead of zooming in you need to zoom out right now and realize dude you're in one little leg of a long race alright man so just like calm down for a minute is zoom out God is in the this thing for the long haul you've got years and years and decades by God's grace to go all right so just put the bad day in perspective it's just a bad day it's just a bad week but God is working on your redemption the redemption of your family like their Generations that are going to be affected by you and your life and your decisions and there's good things coming by the grace of God and I just like happy fluffy things but there's God's goodness and his redemption coming for Generations to come so zoom out there's a bigger thing here you're okay we're okay we're going to make it [35:58] alright so maybe for some of you need to zoom in for others of you you may need to zoom out I want to leave you with this blessing this benediction and I pulled it from Romans 15:33 Jude 1 verse 2 Numbers 6 verse 24 and Psalm 29 verse 11 and I've kind of taken all these verses and I just want to say this benediction and blessing over you bro listen just pause for a second man just pause for a second and um just let the spirit minister to you dude I don't want you to get into a spot where this becomes so tactical [36:40] right like just do these four things and your spirits going to be awesome at the end of the day man we are souls actually just need Jesus and we need the healer and the peacemaker and the Life Giver The Living Water to minister to our soul in ways that no tactical thing can no good night of sleep can no good food can do vacation can what we actually need is the healing and redeeming and life-giving work of Jesus and the Holy Spirit to come in and to give our souls rest [37:16] so even right now man just like take a deep breath God is good today bro God has given you mercy that's brand new today he's in the long haul I know that maybe you are having a bad week a bad month you got a lot of big things going on things that feel exhausting to you but bro maybe just right now just sit in the spirit and in the presence of God he's in it for the long haul he's not surprised by any of this stuff would your spirit start to come back to Jesus [37:58] let me pray this benediction over you now may the Lord of Peace himself give you peace at all times in every way may the Lord give strength to his people may the Lord bless you and keep you the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace may the Lord bless you the Lord bless his sons and daughters with peace may mercy peace and love be multiplied to you may the peace of God be with you all amen [38:51]