Maybe you're doing all the right things as a Christian dad, but there is still that one thing causing you to get tripped up.
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The One Thing That Might Cause You To Lose
Jerrad: it's good to be back with you guys hey if you have a friend who is a dad and you think you might he might be encouraged by any of what we do here at the DadTired podcast [1:57] one of the greatest ways that you can support us is just literally hit that share button pass it along to a friend who needs some encouragement a tired dad who could be uplifted and have his soul filled a little bit so that would be super helpful hit the share button and share it with a friend you can hear my baby crying man speaking of dad tired I as I hit record I hear my 3 month old crying in the background that means nap times probably coming and so anyway I'm living out dad tired so actually [2:24] I'm not my wife is maybe I should pause and go help her I'm going to keep going here this is a very classic dad moment that sounds terrible I've gotten completely off track here my wife has things covered she knows that I'm recording this podcast I'm not being a terrible husband if you want to know more about our relationship you can listen to last week's episode where we talk about five ways to improve your communication in marriage now that I've got that disclaimer out of the way and I've removed all the awkwardness and you fought through the ADD let's jump into today's topic the other day I was sitting down with my kids we were watching a TV show sometimes we’ll do like movie night once a week or we'll watch a TV show and so like we’ll turn on America's Funniest Home Videos pop some popcorn and all sit on the couch and watch something together it's a bonding time we don't do a ton of screen time in our family but this is one way we try to connect as a family anyway so we’re watching America's Funniest Home Videos and one of the clips [3:16] in the videos is a runner who it looks like they may be high school or college age they look pretty serious about their track and field activities and so they're getting ready to run they run one guy is way out ahead he's like hes clearly going to win the race and he's far out there and before the race is over he starts kind of celebrate get excited and just as he celebrating and getting excited right before he's about to win the race he tripped on his own shoelace it's not funny well it is funny that's why it makes America's Funniest Home Videos he trips on a shoelace and falls and as a result people end up passing him and he loses the race [3:53] he got a little too excited a little too quickly and he didn't take care of his shoelace and as a result he fell down I watched that and we all laughed it was funny and it was part of the America's Funniest Home Videos thing but at night when I was going to bed I was actually thinking about that clip and I had this thought that you know sometimes the Holy Spirit speaks to you in the quiet I always tell guys this if you feel like you're far from God and you're like man I just don't feel like I'm hearing from God I don't feel like I'm in a close relationship with God there's a few things I would say number one do you have unconfessed sin [4:21] I talk about this a lot is there just something you are hiding you feel like you're hiding from God which you know we know that that's not really a reality but you're just you're keeping it under wraps and secret and maybe you just need to confess it to God or maybe you need to confess it to someone and so and that if you feel far from God that's a great place to start is is there something that just needs to be confessed either to God or to somebody else again I know a lot of Catholic brothers and sisters who listen to the podcast or who maybe have come across the podcast and we don't need to confess to a person to get forgiveness I don't believe that that's not my theology I don't believe that that is true that you have to confess like in the Catholic religion that you have to confess or I should say Catholic denomination you have to you confess to a priest in order for your sins to be forgiven I don't think that that's biblically true I think that the Bible says confess your sins to God and he is faithful and just to forgive them can cleanse you of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9) so forgiveness comes by confessing your sins to Jesus but then James talks about healing comes from confessing your sins to your brother (James 5:16) and I think that's just a gift that God has given you like you're holding in this sin and you've got this thing that you're hiding it's eating away at your soul and your soul is longing for healing and for rest unconfessed sin will lead to a lot of unrest which usually just perpetuates the sin and so your unrested soul Jesus is offering you a gift by confessing that sin [5:43] by letting it out and what feels massive enemy always does this when a sin is kept in hiding it feels huge an unmanageable but when it's confessed one to God you get forgiveness but two when you confess it to another brother or maybe to your wife or maybe to somebody you confess it it's not for forgiveness you've already been forgiven but it's for healing your soul actually can start to find rest and it comes out of the darkness [6:07] and into the light and it almost always feels much smaller or more manageable then what the enemy is tricking you into believing in your head when it's kept in secret and so if you feel far from God number one just ask yourself is there unconfessed sin that I need to confess either to God or to someone to find healing and rest for your soul the second thing though I would say is if you feel like man I just feel far from God I would ask you when in your day are you actually taking some time to spend some time with the Lord like when do you allow him to talk and a lot of us say you know we don't feel close to God we don't feel I just feel like far from God I haven't heard from God I feel like we're really far [6:44] well when in your day do you just stop and pray God speak to me and then give the spirit of God time to actually speak most of us are really really busy and so you take time to like listen to these podcasts or maybe you read the Bible and you just kind of slot more things into your day throughout the day and yet when do you just have time for quiet and time when you're just at peace and there's no distractions and you're just asking God would you speak to my spirit what do you want to say for me today Lord what do you have for me today so I tried I'm not at all gifted in this area but I’m practicing [7:25] I've been trying to have lunches outside and it's quiet where we live so I'll just go on the back porch back patio area I'll just listen to sounds like birds and the wind just like try to get my soul away from all the things and technology that would normally try to distract me and I just had lunch out there and I just say God whatever you want to say to me today I'm open to listen during this time sometimes it's just my soul is just enjoying the quiet like not being hurried or rushed or distracted and other times I feel like God is prompting my soul with something I know that sounds weird especially feel like new to the church world like what are you talking about and I can't really describe it man I just believe the spirit of God lives in me as a follower of him and sometimes you just get thoughts that are outside of your own that just makes sense with the Bible and what the Bible teaches and so you're like ah man I think that's like the spirit of God living in me that's speaking to me [8:17] so I'll do that and then even before bed I try not to watch like a bunch of TV before bed unless it's with my wife I’ll sometimes we'll just watch a show like a last minute 20 minute date before bed or whatever but I try to just have quiet time where again I’m just asking God do you want to speak to me what is it you would want to say to me in this moment or in this day or tonight and so I was laying I know that was a really long winded I kind of went on a tangent there but I think it's helpful if you feel far from God but I was laying in bed and just asking God what do you want to speak to me is there something in my spirit that you want to reveal in me show me the ways of my heart God [8:53] and so I actually thought about that clip coming all the way back to the beginning of this podcast I went back to that clip the America's Funniest Home Videos and I was thinking about that kid that was running and he ended up tripping on a shoelace and I remember thinking in just kind of that again that kind of pressing in my soul thought that is not my own and I was thinking man how many of us have prepared for a race and I'm not talking a literal race where you're running most of us dudes are having a hard time running these days dad bod like you've prepared to live the life God has set out for you and your running and you're doing everything in preparation to run that race and yet there's something that you've forgotten [9:31] that's going to cause you to trip before you finish the race let me give you kind of an example of what this would look like for you let's just say you're doing your best to be the best Christian husband father disciple That you can be and so you are maybe reading your Bible you're listening to podcasts like this you going to church you're trying to talk to your family about God you're doing all the things that you got to feel like okay I'm preparing the best that I can for the race has been set before me and so you're doing all these things to prepare and to run the race well and yet there's one thing and it could be multiple things but maybe there's just one thing that you are either purposely overlooking or that maybe you're subconsciously overlooking [10:09] and that one thing might be the thing the end up tripping you up and causing you to fall and as a result lose the race or to not finish well and for many just think about the kid that like he probably have been practicing every day he's running his bodys probably in shape I mean he was going to win he was fast his body was in shape he had endurance he had done everything that he needed to do and yet he forgot to look at one thing like did you check your shoelace I think about the story when I was thinking about this I was thinking about the story of David in the Bible and how David the Bible says that God calls David a man after God's Own Heart I mean this guy is he's doing in many ways all the right things that you should be doing he's got the same heart that God has that's incredible you know what a compliment for God to say ah man when I look at you son you've got the same heart as me what a huge compliment that is and that's what God says about David God says David he’s got my heart this is the guy that slayed the giant you know with a rock this is the guy that was fearless in going against that giant this is the guy that was trying to lead people toward God [11:17] and be a Godly leader like in many ways the guy's a huge example of what it looks like to be a man of God and then the scriptures say and this comes in Samuel where he just wakes up one day the Bible literally says in some translations he woke up got off of this couch and went on a walk up on his roof and so he's just walking he gets up he's on the couch he gets off his couch walks on the roof and as hes walking on the roof he sees a woman who is very beautiful and she is bathing and he begins to lust after her and then says I want that woman and he calls to have somebody to go get her and that ends up turning into a series of crazy events he ends up sleeping with this woman she's married she gets pregnant he finds out that she's pregnant he freaks out he's like oh my gosh we got to get her husband back from war so that it would look like they slept together and they had a baby [12:11] well that doesn't work because the husband actually has integrity and he's like I can't leave the war and just go sleep with my wife when there's like all my soldiers and all my comrades are fighting so he doesn't end up sleeping with his wife and now David's freaked out and he's panicking his whole life is like spiraling out of control one thing after another and so hes like okay well now we got to kill him we got to kill her husband because he's going to get real upset when he finds out and I slept with his wife and now she's pregnant he just goes into this whole like downward spiral everything starts to fall apart in his life now catch how this whole story started [12:42] he got up off the couch and he went for a walk that was David's day that day he got up from the couch and went for a walk and he saw a pretty woman bathing and as a result of some dumb decisions his whole life he ends up tripping before the finish line because his shoelaces are untied you know what I mean and I'm thinking like for me and for you as a man of God you're trying your best to be the husband disciple that God wants you to be and you're doing all the right things David was a man after God's own heart [13:13] and yet he forgot to check his shoelaces like there was one thing that he just overlooked maybe there was an area of his life that he knew man this is a weakness of mine this is a hard thing that I've been dealing with he probably listen its not the first day that that dude dealt with lust right or dealt with making some impulsive decisions he's been on that Journey before and so he just kind of pushes that aside you know Im trying to follow God I'm trying to lead well and yet I'm over looking this one thing and the one thing that he overlooks ends up being the thing that causes him to trip and fall before he finishes the race well and so I guess what I would ask myself and what I was kind of prompted in my spirit as I was laying in bed that night and as I want to put that same prompting on you what is it that you're overlooking right now that's causing you or that could cause you to trip and fall and lose the race or not finish the race well [14:04] you think about Paul says this a lot like brothers run the race to win right like run with a purpose and then he says something later where he says throw off the things that so easily entangle you so throw off the sins that so easily entangle you that picture to me looks like somebody's shoe laces are untied like youre doing everything right youve got everything else you trying your best to get everything else going right and yet there's something that you're overlooking either again on purpose or subconsciously and it's something maybe the feels as small as your shoelaces are untied and yet it's going to be the thing that trips you up [14:46] thats why Paul would say throw off those things that so easily entangle you because heres the truth man as just brother to brother like man to man here's the truth it is hard to raise kids who aren't looking at pornography when you're looking at pornography it's hard to raise kids who aren't going to lose their temper when you're losing your temper all the time it's hard to raise kids and to talk to your sons and your daughters about controlling their impulses or their lust when you aren't controlling your impulses and your lusts weve talked about this before but maybe there's a thing that youre just pushing aside [15:21] and its like ah that's not that big of a deal that really nobody is really getting hurt im not really hurting anyone and my life is pretty fine and we go to church I read the Bible and listen to this podcast like I’m doing a lot of things I should be doing and yet dude theres just something that maybe feels small to you and it's the shoelace thats going to cause you to trip and fall before you run across the finish line bro don't let that be your story man don't let it get to a point where instead of you bringing things into the light God has to bring things out into the line it turns into a bigger deal which God will do because hes gracious to you he wants you to experience healing and he's given you the gift to a confess sin to repent to turn your ways back to him he's giving you all of those opportunities and gifts just do it man like tie your shoes you know what I mean like tie your shoes as your training to run the race and to run it well and to finish well and as you're looking at all these things and you might be looking at all the big things am I being faithful to my wife and I'm not drinking and getting drunk and I'm not addicted to anything and I'm trying my best to read the Bible and to do these things but is there something small man or what may be his big deal but you've convinced yourself a small something that feels as small [16:31] as shoelaces is there something that just needs to be addressed like dude would you have the guts just in your personal like in your soul right now in your heart of hearts just to say alright dude you know what man like todays the day I need to deal with that maybe man I know that sounds scary for a lot of you maybe dealing with it today it's just starting by confessing to God and just saying God I've been hiding this thing I've been trying to push this thing aside for a long time maybe it's unforgiveness maybe its hate maybe its anger maybe it's lust maybe it's addiction I don't know what it is dude but maybe you haven't even just confessed it to God and maybe today you just need to confess it to God and say God I've been holding out on this for a long time and and I don't want to hide anymore [17:13] I need help with this I need this area of my life to be a part of my life that you redeem God I know i've let you into a lot of the rooms of my house but there's one room that I've been keeping a lock on and I need you to come in here and it's messy but I need you to help clean it up God to redeem it to restore it to make all things new again and to maybe dude that's the first step and tying that shoelace and to starting to find rest for your soul I want you to ask yourself three questions to wrap up here ask yourself these three questions number one what's your finish line like when you're thinking through the race when Paul says run the race to win [17:52] right run the race well what's your finish line do you even know like if you're thinking through what the destination is what's that final line that you're going to cross where you could say I won I succeeded do you know what you're running toward do you know what the end goal is for you and if you don't man just spend some time even right now just give yourself a little bit of time I know you're probably busy you're squeezing this podcast in in between one thing and another but just as yourself what is the actual goal I am running towards this is something we talk a lot about the family leadership program actually make the guys list up to write out they do a whole exercise [18:28] where they have to write out what is finish line for me 1 year from now what is success and finishing well look like for me 5 years from now 10 years from now 35 years from now 40 years what is success look like for me what does it look like to run the race well and to finish the line or to cross over the line well and so I have the guys write that down but dude take the time to write that out to really ask yourself what am I running toward what am I actually trying to to chase after so that would be the first question I want you to ask what's the end goal for you what are you running toward what is the finish line the second question I want [19:06] you to ask is are you running the race to win or you just walking around the track you know what I mean like I just like the lightly jogging are you walking or are you running with purpose dude like when you wake up are you saying no man I know the finish line I know what I'm trying to chase after I know the husband I'm trying to be does again this is the stuff we talked about the family leadership program because I make you list out each of these categories like I know I know what I'm trying to get at as a husband i know where I'm trying to go as a father and I know where I'm going to go as a disciple for the next year 5 years 10 years 25 years 30 years I know the finish line for all those areas in my life that God has called me to and so are you waking up and say no I'm running with passion like im full-force [19:48] I am running to win this race or are you maybe your you don't really know what you're finish line is maybe you kind of do and are you just like walking or jogging or maybe you're getting distracted maybe you're doing a lap around the track me like I'm going to veer off for a minute go take a little bit of break get into this hobby get into this thing like you've poured energy in all these other things that don't actually make sense for the kingdom of God for your family and for your marriage so are you running to win dude number one do you know what the finish line and two now that you know what the finish line is are you running to win or you just walking around the track kind of getting distracted the final question Id have for you is what is tripping you up what's entangling you maybe you know the race that is set before you know the prize that you're trying to go after you know its success and the finish line looks like for you you're running to win but you keep getting tripped up your shoelace is untied and its bothering you what is it what is tripping up [20:47] just name it right now in your head and name it this thing keeps tripping me up this thing is entangling me and then ask yourself what does it look like for me to throw off the things that are easily entangling me and to run with purpose and her run run to win dude don't let your shoelace be the thing that trips you up don't be like King David man where you like you're sitting on the couch you wake up to go for a walk [21:12] in the next thing you know your life is completely unraveling because you didn't deal with the shoelace like whatever it is right now the thing that is entangling you bring it to God this is the kind of dad that your kids need this is the man that your wife needs to be married to this is the disciple that makes huge ripples for the kingdom of God you don't just run the race you don't just get all the endurance you don't eat right and all this and that you forget to tie your shoelace to make sure every area of your life give yourself an inventory and if maybe you don't know ask the spirit of God to reveal to you God what areas of my life reveal to me the wickedness in my heart that needs to be addressed and dude there's no shame here man all of us are here because we're all broken sinful messy dudes trying to figure out what it looks like to be more in love with Jesus and to lead our familys well and so there's actually such beauty in repentance to come before [22:08] God and just say God thank you that you're taking this brokenness it's not shame i'm not running from God because the penalty of sin has already been taken care of now I can bring my sin to Christ and say thank you God that you can just save me but you're saving me you're making me more like you and so God here's another piece of my life that needs to be saved I'm bringing it to you i rejoice in my weakness because I know your grace is going to be made strong and it's going to be to show off your glory here thank you God that you're a forgiving God there's no shame dude you go before the trainer and you say here's an area that I need to work on and it's not a shame-based thing it's a it's an invitation for God to bring his healing and his kingdom work into that area of your life don't trip over your shoelace man it's not worth it run the race well run to win finish well I love you brother, see you.