Tired Family? Lead Them To REST. (WITH jEREMY pRYOR)

If you're a dad, you're likely exhausted. There's nothing more you and your family want than some good soul rest. Maybe you've heard about the idea of practicing sabbath as a family, but have no idea where to begin. Or, maybe you've tried a few times but have since given up. Where ever you're at on the "tired" spectrum, today's episode is filled with tons of practical encouragement to help you lead your family into rest. Not just for your kids, but for generations to come.

Mentioned in this Episode:​​​

• Join the Family Leadership Program! - 2:05
• Shabbat Shalom Song - 31:10
• Family Revision by Jeremy Pryor - 35:12
• The Sabbath by Abraham Joshua Heschel - 37:08
• Psalm 128 - 38:03

​
​​Our Sponsors: 

• Hiya Health - Use Code DADTIRED for 50% OFF Your First Order!

​​
Connect with Dad Tired:

• To subscribe on iOS, go to our iTunes page and subscribe.· Leave an iTunes review, this lets us and others know what you think and increases the chance that other dads will find us.
• Follow Dad Tired on Instagram for updates.
• Join our Dad Tired private community for men who are trying to figure out how to be better disciples, husbands, fathers, and men.
• Join the Family Leadership Program! An in-depth program to help you lead your family well.

---

Tired Family? Lead Them To Rest. (with Jeremy Pryor)

Jerrad: Hey guys you've probably heard me talk quite a bit [2:06] about our family leadership program one of the things that we do in the program as we have a live monthly training so everyone from every cohort comes together or has the opportunity to come together and we do a live training either that I teach or we bring in some author or speaker or somebody to present on some kind of topic and these are exclusive to the family dealership program you can't find them anywhere else it's only for the guys who are part of that program that being said back in January we did a live training with Jeremy Pryor who's been on our podcast before but he came and he talked to our students about rest and Sabbath and I've heard him talk a lot about Sabbath we've done episodes in the past on Sabbath but I was so compelled by what he shared to the guys in the program that day I even told him that day like a man this [2:53] was so so good I want to share it on the podcast but I'm not going to because this is only for our family leadership program but I've gone back and forth and since it's been since January its six months now 7 months I thought you know what I'm just going to share it and part of it is because it's just it's a huge resource for you like as you listen to today's interview I know you going to leave inspired to want to start practicing Sabbath with your family if it's not something you're currently practicing or you feel like you're doing it but it's clunky and you just can't get a good rhythm I promise you today's episode is going to be really encouraging to you but I also just want to give you a glimpse of what our family leadership program is like and what it's like to be part of these live trainings so if you want to be part of it and you want to be part of the family leadership program we'd love for you to join we open a new cohort every month and that you can be part of so if you go to dadtired.com/lead lead dadtired.com/lead you can jump in the program you'll have all kinds of material to go through but you also have lifetime access to these monthly trainings that we do for our leadership program guys that being said were going to be talking about Sabbath today the context will be a little bit different because it wasn't a podcast interview [3:56] it was the zoom training so I just kind of bear with that but the content is incredible I'll jump out of the way and let Jeremy jump right into the topic of Sabbath [4:06] 
Jeremy: Yeah rest is a very serious problem for our culture as you guys know one of the probably biggest misconceptions are misnomers about rest is that all you have to do is stop working but it's not as simple as that it's like after about an hour you're looking at your kids your spouse or like what are we resting this doesn't feel restful like you know and so it's not something that you just turn on or off it's really is a skill and it's one that we are pretty unfamiliar with I I like to think about the whole journey [4:49] into figuring out rest is finding your off button like where is that like where is that part of me I just I could just you know and I think that what really is the goal is that you want to have a situation where you are fully recharged after 24 hours I mean wouldn't it be amazing if you could experience that full kind of rest so that your tank is full every week so my journey into this kind of has a couple of streams so I met my wife in Jerusalem I was there to study Hebrew I wasn't there necessarily to learn any cultural stuff I was mostly kind of curious at the time about theology but I was definitely intrigued when you're in Jerusalem its bizarre I don't know if you guys have ever been there but the whole city just shuts down the convenience store is literally say open 24/6 and so when you're in a culture where that is the expectation that that's the rhythm everyone knows everybody you know you just feel the quiet all of a sudden the cars disappear from the streets and [5:48] if you're walking around and I had this experience once you can literally the only thing I could hear was the sound of fathers chanting blessings over their children you know that was the Friday night experience I was just like what is this magical world in which I have just entered and so again somebody who wasn't you know really very interested in that initially I really was imprinted by that experience [6:11] so fast forward met my wife there we got married she wasn't Jewish I wasn't Jewish so we were like that's a Jewish thing right like so we didn't really pursue that but it was deeply impacting me the next kind of stage of my journey was I heard a a pastor just speak about that passage in The Book of Mark where the disciples are walking through the grain fields and eating the kernels of grain on the Sabbath this is terrible and they get confronted Jesus the pharisees confront jesus and they're like look at your disciples they’re they're breaking the Sabbath and Jesus you know says that really famous line [6:47] the Sabbath man was not created for Sabbath how did he say it the Sabbath is not created for man or man is not created for the sabbath the sabbath was created for man therefore the son of man is lord of the sabbath what he's saying course is that it's a gift to us we're not created to serve it it was created to serve us and it's a really interesting thing for Jesus to say when he's being rebuked or breaking the Sabbath they weren't really breaking the Sabbath there's no rules like that it was a man-made rule [7:14] that they had been breaking and Jesus was really excited about breaking manmade rules in the gospels and so what I realized was I was kind of rejecting Sabbath because it was legalistic and it was Old Testament and it was maybe even part of a different culture than the Christian culture that I grew up in but Jesus was saying but it's a gift and so my first step into theSabbath was was it that the the feeling of I don't have to do this I don't believe that that the Bible it requires Christians to keep a Sabbath day [7:46] there’s even a verse in Colossians where Paul literally says let no one judge you by a Sabbath day and so I see over this entire conversation a giant no judgment zone literally Paul said that you are not to judge one another in the church according to Sabbath so what category is it in if it's not a law that we're supposed to figure out if we're going to keep your break Jesus said what it was it's a gift you can decide to keep it or not you can decide to use it or not [8:15] and so I just feel like the first thing there's tons of freedom here like no one should be feeling judgment nor shame about do you keep one or I really believe that that is not appropriate in the Kingdom around the topic its explicitly stated as not appropriate but if you want to use it as a gift or you want to explore this gift of the Sabbath what are you exploring what does that mean and so I decided that and there was a moment where so I have five kids I think at the time we had four kids you know there's a moment when that I've discovered now on the other side my kids are much older now and have a couple of them are adults but when had all these little kids where life got really hard and really stressful and I didn't know how to lead my family really well I couldn't figure out how to bring a lot of faith rhythms into my house I tried lots of things I felt super awkward I had been a youth pastor at one point and that was really comfortable at the end in front of 100 kids and you know lead a youth group but I couldn't get in front of my you know my family and lead them very strange and so I had this sort of in this incredibly stressful season of our family I I remembered [9:26] back to the time in Jerusalem and I put that together with this idea that it's a gift and I can receive it and I remember just getting in my car driving to the mall walking to JCPenney and I'm like I'm going to like buy something to make a sabbath happen so like I right in front of me was there's a display of these dishes that were like 50 or 80% off for some ridiculous amount and they were these very weird looking dishes they had like fruit and I don't know it was not aesthetically beautiful at all but it looked really different and so the thing that I was like okay I'm going to get these dishes and these dishes [10:00] and these dishes are going to like you know so I bought this whole giant box of dishes stuck it in my car then went to Yankee Candle and I asked the lady who worked there what is the scent that will never go out like 100 years from now if Yankee Candle still a business what scent will you guys still sell and she walked me over to the section and she said this one and it was the sage and citrus smell and I was like okay that's going to be the smell of Sabbath so I bought a bunch of candles I bought a bunch of dishes I drove home and told my family we're going to launch a Sabbath we're going to like have a meal with these really weird looking plates [10:34] and we're going to light this candle and we're going to smell this candle and it's going to be rest so that was my first foray into keeping Sabbath as a family we kind of iterated from there so I would say the first year we would like have a meal and then the next week we were so stressed we forgot that we were supposed to keep the Sabbath and it was kind of on or off for about a year but I would say that launching the Sabbath with a family meal was super helpful [11:01] and you know one of the things that if you read in Genesis 1 one of the strange things that talks about when God created the world is he kept saying it's evening and morning the first day it's evening and morning the second day it's evening morning the third day whatever in other words the day started in the evening when the sunset which is the way that the Jews count time rabbis literally on the sabbath the way to determine when the Sabbath start is with when the 3rd star in the sky is visible it's now the next day and so Friday night when the third star is visible that's the beginning of the Sabbath that's when it's launched and so I really liked this idea again there's no pressure you could do it whenever you want we were doing it on Saturday night and we are resting on Sunday that's kind of how we started and we did that for seven years and so we would light a candle have this meal and it would really signify rest I bought this box and we one of things that it says Deuteronomy 5 God says about the Sabbath is to remember that you were slaves and so I would tell the gospel story remember we work how are we slaves we were locked in slavery to sin [12:01] you know what  happened Jesus came Jesus is the light of the world we’d open the box take out the candle light the candle representing Jesus as our light so I’d just tell the gospel to my kids every week at that family meal and it was solidified in the idea of rest for me I was the one of the deepest things about sabbath is his connection to the gospel because the gospel is it's not about my work's its not on my righteousness its not about my trying it's about what he did it's his finished work that actually I'm resting in but when you actually do that when do you actually rest in the gospel [12:35] and so I think youre supposed to of course rest in the gospel all the time but man it's really cool to practice that on a weekly basis right after you declare the gospel over your family we are resting and so that was the beginning for me and really launched my spiritual leadership in my own home because we just said this is sacred like we're going to do this meal and over that course of that year when it was on her off we eventually got to the place where it was like on every single week we just got better and better and this is a skill like for us I tell a lot of people like man if it's stressful and you're just trying to launch it paper plates and pizza like whatever you can sustain that's how you do it you start with something sustainable light a candle if that works good something that'll make it set apart something that'll make your kids look forward to it we started very early had like a special drink for the Sabbath if you want to make sure that you keep a Sabbath meal just do something with sugar that is only that time of year is totally sacred to that meal [13:28] and your kids will remind you endlessly about hey remember that thing like let's do that thing the thing with the grape juice or whatever so we did that that helped us you know kind of get into the rhythm of having a day and then we would go to sleep and rest and wake up and rest that's one of the reasons why I like starting in an evening and ending it in the evening of the next day so for about 7 years we did this we would rest on Saturday evening and then we would rest all day Sunday I would say another massive paradigm shift that had to be core for me was that if you grew up in a Christian home a lot of times there's an association of Sabbath with boredom and this is it true in the Jewish world too like there's just lots of rules lots of things you can't do and it's primarily associated with a bunch of things that you're not allowed to do and I would say that the thing to nail with the Sabbath is it's got to be the day your kids look forward to the most [14:26] the idea of the sabbath was supposed to be the zenith of the week it's the time in which you the idea of rest was really soul rest one of the things that I often do when we launch into our Sabbath is I ask my kids what are the two kinds of rest and so I’ve trained them to kind of think through this in this way so what's the first kind of rest well the first kind of rest is I'm exhausted you know like I got to take a break like and so that's sort of like physical rest what's the other kind of rest and so what they'll say is the other kind of rest is when you're done [15:00] like you might be working on a project for six months and you might finish the project at 10 a.m. one day and you still have some energy left but you're done that is a different kind of rest that is what we talk about as soul rest soul rest is when it's done and I would say what is what kind of rest are we going to experience on the Sabbath yeah we do experience physical rest we need to take a break but on this side of the cross what's really encouraging is that what were primarily entering into is soul rest it's to say that you know what there is a giant project which is to be perfectly righteous before God that has been totally accomplished for us the hardest job the hardest work that we could ever do the kind of work that would allow our soul never to rest and all of that work the hardest project of all life has been totally accomplished on our behalf [15:54] and the only thing that's left for us to do is to enjoy it is to receive it so man that's not boring that's not like let's make a bunch of rules up like it's like let's enter in to what Jesus has won for us in the gospel and so because of that it's so important that as a father the association that you're developing between your rhythm of rest and your your kids experience of rest be an association of real joy and so of course you could be like unlimited screens and like you know like there could be so many ways of and endless candy and like yes okay so there's obviously going crazy so how do you then actually design a day of rest and this is going to look very different for you depending on what season your families in so we've gone through and now we've been practicing a day of rest today we [16:46] do it from Friday night until Saturday evening and you like I said if Mark is much older so I think it's been about 20 years we've been keeping a sabbath and the way that we started to really build the skill of resting for a day I describe this as finding your off button and that is we break our Sabbath into different chunks and then me and my wife would so we would kind of like Lego bricks we were just going to like put different things in those trunks and then we would have a debriefing meeting every week at our me and my wife do a meeting and just say what was like giving and what what felt like work ok let's focus on that was going on in that block okay let's tweak that lets change that let's try this because ok let's try that next week we do that and then and the idea isn't to keep a schedule the idea is again to create freedom is to have the most enjoyable day you possibly can have [17:40] but for a lot of people having 24 hours of 0 things to even direct your your action or attention is not restful and so if that is restful to you I say  do it but  especially if you have kids or little kids that's that can be really really exhausting if you guys have questions I can dive into with it with those blocks would look like 
Jerrad: Yeah jeremy when you
Jeremy:  but that's the format 
Jerrad: Are you when you say blocks are you talking about time slots is that 
Jeremy: yeah the way I do it is I [18:09] have so in my sabbath so I try to design a most restful day I possibly can and I I know what it is I can walk you guys through some of the most restful day so the first block is the morning right so what do I do when I wake up for me you know I sleep in I wake up around you know 8 or 9 o’clock then there's a particular coffee shop I like to go to and you know and I do journaling and I spend about 2 hours with the Lord I listen to worship I journal like I do some reading and it's very open ended I'm not looking at the clock but around like 11 11-30 I tend to think I want to be with somebody so then I usually come home and take one of my kids and I take him on a lunch date and I just want to like I want there to be like no pressure just like let's just talk and so I have a deep conversation with one of my kids then I come home usually around one or two and then I hangout with April for an hour or two as you like read and then we have a nap you know and just kind of relax together and take a nap and enjoy each other and then we go out on a date and and we have like places we like to go that's my favorite time to do date night because there's like I have so much energy if I do any other night of the week I'm like exhausted if I do it after the Sabbath I'm like my dad comes over and runs a whole game night with all of our kids while April and I go and do a do a date so that's my Sabbath I got older kids that's not what it would look like with little kids so you can talk about its much more challenging [19:32] but definitely doable there's lots of things you can do to make restful but it's also way more challenging but I can be pretty design it around me April my wife has her own my kids you have the way they design their Sabbath days but this has been iterating iterating iterating iterating and I'm telling you guys man when I go through that and it's like I said it launches with an epic family meal like we have usually 15 to 20 people that come over on Friday night for dinner almost all family members extended family it's a very restful but that took us like almost 10 years to figure out how incredibly restful like epic multi-generational family meal and I can go into detail how we do that and how to clean up and everything but again took us ten years to figure that out when we first started it was like just us and we’re trying to survive with our little kids and you know not hurt each other [20:21] but I would say that yeah it's super restful so the blocks just go back to your question Jerrad for me some people like to block it out on hours that's too exhausting for me I just like to think about like morning kind of noon afternoon evening and then obviously Friday evening as well or if you do it on Sunday Saturday evening there's like five blocks or so that we're constantly you know two three hour blocks we're just like playing with so that we figure out what's really restful for everyone in the family and feels like an epic experience like really the zenith of the week for each of up each of the members of our family 
Jerrad: Man I have like a million questions based on everything you just said but I don't want to steal everyone's time so there's so many amazing nuggets and helpful stuff there does anyone else have a question 
Guest: I guess I'd be more just curious because now you said you you have older kids and I’m at the stage where I have little kids and what does formulating with that Sabbath looks like and you know since this program has started we've gone done different things what did your early Sabbath look like when your kids were little 
Jeremy: So the way that and we went to a lot of iterations on this as well the first thing that happened on so we were doing it mostly on Sunday my wife would go early in the morning and she had a three-hour block alone and I had the kids     so I would make like a breakfast for the kids and then she would go and totally recharge and we had make an agreement between my wife and I that if the kids were breathing when she came home then I it was like a 10 because and so I found a way to kind of like relax and you know she we were able to when she came home like okay is the house too much of a mess [22:03] how do we fix that so that was like the morning and then we went through stages where it felt like a really good thing to have a like an outing with the kids to burn off some of their energy and so a lot of it was so we started to and I would do this during the week I had like a you know a Google doc with like lots of different things we could do so we would you know this would be little hikes we would go on or we would go bike riding or you know something for the usually an hour or two during the winter months we live in Cincinnati gets kind of cold here in the winter so  we would there was like a few like indoor gyms or jump zones and indoor playgrounds and so we would usually take the kids to something like that where they could have activity look forward to that have fun and then april and I could connect and so that would be the kind of noon and then there would be like a quiet time in the afternoon when we came home so you know we have everyone would kind of we trained our kids to kind of have a you know an hour to adjust R&R and and that could also include like a a show if need be and so we would let him watch something and and then in the evening we would do sometimes we'd do this rhythm I described like have child care and then April and I  would go out for our our weekly date night and so that was more what it would look like during that stage 
Jerrad: Jeremy did you save one of the problems I have especially for a lot of us who might be working from home or have more time at home now that you know covid and kind of the world's shifted I have a little bit of ADD and child at heart in me so sometimes I just want to go do fun things during the week with my kids were you intentional about saving those things for Sabbath so that it really felt special and set aside
Jeremy: Yeah [23:46] there were certain places I would say like one of the things that the first thing that it says it was holy was the seventh day and you know the word holy mean set apart so I joke all the time with my kids that if they light that sage and citrus Yankee Candle any other day the week I’m going to be like ah that's holy like that's for the sabbath you can't do that so I would say that that's the the real purpose behind having that concept of being set apart so that your soul has a reaction that's appropriate to the spiritual reality because we're very embodied creatures and so a lot of times we think that you know we're just abstract we can just immediately understand these things so yeah to get your question Jerrad I think it's really important to set aside or set apart the word holy mean set apart set apart places scents lights like plates dishes certain foods you know whatever like that's an iterative process but yeah I would say like if you find a spot it doesn't mean of course you can’t take your kids out during the week but it does mean it might like another example is so me and April are both really introverted [24:55] and we were you know teaching lot of our friends and our community that young children that are very extroverted actually how they recharge is to be around other people and so there became this really cool in the winter rhythm that a lot of people in our community started doing where they all descend on some like indoor like for a while it was this huge brewery in town that had like this you know massive like all these games everything and so they'd all go there for a couple of years there was a business that we owned that had like in the center of the business you know there was just a lot of it was kind of like a gathering room lots of couches and you know different screens and so they would all go there for like 2 or 3 hours and their kids at all play in the middle while they all connected and got all their extroverted energy doing side conversation but again those were places that were set apart for the Sabbath and so their kids would be like looking forward to it and and so it creating those traditions I find that when you think about and this is true for any holiday [25:57] that you want to start it's I think it's really in our culture the best way to really understand some of the stuff is actually think about Christmas so much of what when we say there's a spirit of Christmas or I love that time of year the feeling or the vibe what you're actually experiencing is not Christmas it's the power of tradition and we just have so few Traditions left that and we have so many around that one holiday that and so like we only want to listen to those songs on Christmas we only do red and green around Christmas we only and so all of that setting apart setting apart setting apart creates over rhythms and cycles a magical experience and and so that you want to create that around the Sabbath if you can and setting things apart places apart will start to do that for your kid now what's really weird is as an adult you're not going to have nearly the experience your kids are having in other words if you got introduced to Christmas when you were 27 when you're 29 it's not going to feel that magical to you like what are we doing like why wouldn't I just play the song any time of the year why don't we just do red and green all the time like you don't realize what's going on your kids or you're building a magical experience for them and they're going to feel it like if you are careful to steward those traditions around that one experience and you'll eventually get there you know 10 years later it will start to feel magical to you too thats with an annual  rhythm with sabbath it can happen a lot faster but yeah that's one of these are stewarding we just didn't understand that when your building traditions and for your family then that's how [27:35] you make it epic feeling for them is really by setting things apart it really isn't necessarily doing something crazy weird but it's it's having things that feel very associated tightly with that event 
Jerrad: I love it man that that's so helpful very very practical I love the idea of the plates I even kind of love the idea of like awkward plates like I feel like I just want to go like look for the clearance bin plates 
Jeremy: Yeah go to the thrift store or something
Jerrad: Yeah it's fun that's a fun idea one of the questions I had was the blessing that you talked about you so you said when you were in Jerusalem you heard it got quiet only thing you could hear was Father's blessing their their sons that's so fascinating [28:13] is blessing part of your Sabbath routine and were they saying the same blessings every time I love that idea but can you unpack that a little bit
Jeremy: Yeah totally yeah this is one of those things that is so rich in the scriptures right like there's lots of talk about blessing you know and you see Abraham blessing Isaac and Isaac blessing Esau and Jacob and Jacob blessing his 12 sons the whole chapter Genesis 49 Jacob blessing ephraim and manasseh in genesis 48 so its a huge part of the scriptures but as Christians and it's a huge part of Jewish culture but in Christian culture it's kind of hit-or-miss so yeah I would really courage you and the way that I think about blessings on this during the Sabbath dinner is the first thing is when you come to my sabbath table you are your family identity [29:00] so you're a son or daughter of mother father a grandfather or grandmother and even if you're like not a part of our family your son or daughter we're a family this a family table were going to experience our familyness at this table during this 2 hours during dinner and cleanup and whatever we do afterwards you're going to embody that a lot of people don't have a chance like there's a lot of talk about how families should eat together but usually when we're talking about weekday evening dinners it's sort of like a quick catch-up time before we all run off and do our homework you know crush Netflix or whatever but you want to have like this family meal that you enter into your fatherhood during that meal you experience it and I think the blessings that are a great portal into that and so what we do is we get everybody around the table and I just like I'll say hey guys what day is it what's going on here why are these cool plates and weird candles out here and the kids are like it's the Sabbath [29:57] yeah it's what does that mean yeah it's a weird  they say shabbat our kids often times will use that word that's the hebrew word for sabbath what does that mean it means to cease so I ask questions you know we have a key interactive if there's people at table that you know have never heard of this before they get to learn about the Sabbath and I'm training my kids about what that is just through basic questions like that and then I bring out the candle in a traditional Jewish sabbath the mother always lights the candle and a candle signifies that the sabbath has begun and it's time to stop and the reason why the mother always light the candle is because she's going to have the hardest time ceasing when she's in her in the home if she does a lot of work there and that's kind of traditionally the way it is in Jewish culture and so April will take the candle and she will bless you know the Lord not the candle but she blesses the Lord and you know we have different blessing that i’ve written or we say or you know half the time she makes it up based on the conversation that just happened she's like God we bless you for giving us a day of rest and for loving us enough to send your son and you know to be the light of the world and bam you know and so she lights [31:04] the candle and then the first thing she says is Shabbat Shalom you know which is that's the traditional and then we sing this crazy song you can look it up online it's the song shabbat shalom but it's a really fun song and the kids love it and they pound on the table and it's like it's very very ruckus and we scare anybody who's new to our family and they think we're really weird so we always have to warn them guys are going to sing a crazy song you know and don't think we're too weird so once that's done as soon as that's done and they pound on the table and it gets quiet and the next thing I say is has God blessed our family with any sons and then all the sons jump up you know whoever's and so if my dad's there he will do the blessing and he'll bless me as a son when Mike my father-in-law was was there he would you know they take turns out he died a few years ago so the oldest member of the family will put his hands on all the sons and there's a traditional Jewish blessing over the sons which is may God make them like Ephraim and Manassah which is incredibly deep I wish I had half an hour to unpack why but the book of Hebrews talked about why that's so epic in Hebrews 11 but and what happened in Genesis 48 around that blessing the culmination of everything God was trying to teach Israel in the Book of Genesis so he says may God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh and then I wrote this little sort of more New Testament may He give you the faith of Abraham the heart of David and the righteousness of Christ as you build our family from generation to generation so I wrote that on cards so when my parents were kind of like what is this weird thing there's a whole nother conversation you want to talk about how to involve parents that took us a long time [32:37] our parents definitely thought we were weird for a while and now it's the absolute favorite thing to do so that we've been over that hump but so my dad does that and then we asked has God blessed our family with any daughters and then all the daughters get up we got four daughters and our family so they all run up and they get in the circle and they put the you know if their hands on each other and the oldest matriarch of the family puts up her hands and she says may God make you like Sarah Rebecca Rachel and Leah May she give you the the heart of Ruth the faith of Mary and the righteousness of Christ as you build our family from generation to generation and so in that moment you have all the continuity the generations you have the feeling of the matriarch patriarch of the family blessing and everyone feels that Im a son I'm a daughter I belong at this table so it's like you're creating that feeling of belonging and so and that's that's how we kick it off 
Jerrad: Man I feel like emotional just picturing that scene and just how powerful that is it just makes me emotional thinking about that it also makes me want to come to your house and experience Sabbath with you because it just is like its so how cool is that dude like that your kids are experiencing that and that and I love that you have said many times you know that you kind of stumbled your way through this for years and years and years because I think that's where a lot of us with the young kids we feel but even [33:56] just starting that like that for for me with what the picture you just painted kind of sets a goal for me you know and a dad 20 years from now that's the kind of evenings I want that's the kind of Friday night into Saturday or Saturday whatever you know that's the kind of 24 hour traditions I want to be having with my family too just for the sake of time we’ll wrap up here but Jeremy man so so helpful any last thoughts from any guys hear anything you guys want to ask before we wrap up here 
Guest 2: I just had a quick question with Jeremy you kind of mentioned about getting through kind of those roadblocks is setting up and it took like 10 years and a decade to kind of get it to where you wanted to how do you push through or put new things in perspective to kind of solidify what you want in that plan 
Jeremy: Yeah well I think I think it's good to have a vision like I think Jerrad you just said like like you know having that picture one of the visions I had that kept me going was what's the kind of meal that we could have every week that when my kids have kids they will number 1 absolutely want to be there like they will like we want to be at that table and number 2 that they would not be able to help doing it with their kids because I want us to pierce the generations for me a huge part in and you know Jerrad knows I wrote a whole book on this called family revision which is a lot of this for me stirred up in the question of why don't Christian families try to build multi-generational families any more [35:23] like why was it why was Abraham obsessed with multi-generational families and Christian families are like dissolved after usually one or two generations and so anyway I dig deep into that one of the things that that I was looking for was a tool that would create a multi-generational family I'm telling you guys if you do this if you have an epic Sabbath dinner that your kids love then I don't think you can stop a multi-generational family from happening like this tool is that powerful if you look at a Jewish families a lot of times they don't they don't even have a vision in their mind that they want to have a multi-generational family but they keep the Sabbath and they create this meal and they just you know what do you do every single week or showing up and there's Grandpa you know to telling family stories blessing the sons and there's grandma there's like you know we do this once or twice a year maybe Christmas and Thanksgiving they do it every week and so so for me that was the vision that kept me going was like I want my family to be connected multi-generationaly I believe this tool is powerful enough to create that multi-generational connection it is definitely working I would say that was for me what got me through the other thing that  I would say that just really practical is that it's so important like I mentioned having a meeting with your wife and you know talking about like what was life giving and this is definitely true about the meal or about a day of rest if you guys try to establish that so have the vision like what are we want like do we want a multi-generational meal for me I wanted an epic meal that my kids would want to go to when they're adults with their kids [36:56] that's the first thing and the second thing is I wanted a day of rest where my soul felt recharged every week and so those are my that was my vision and then I would ask friends I would read books there's a book by Abraham Joshua heschel called the Sabbath it's little blow your mind it's one ofthe most incredible books on the Sabbath the Jews have been trying to figure this out for 5,000 years so why not learn something there even if you know you're worried oh i'm not trying to be Jewish man they've done an incredible job of stewarding this resource so dive into some of that some of those resources and then you just iterate your way there but you do have to have a why that's really powerful it's really easy to forget about this and to go on to the next thing and for us our whys were just too powerful to move on from this thing and that's what helped us get through some of the really hard seasons where it felt like why do we just do this the kids are screaming the kid just threw his plate off his high chair and like this is a joke and you know like we definitely had those moments everybody does when they're trying to figure this out and you got to push through that stuff because you got you got to remember that if you want to really vivid picture of this Psalm 128 actually answers the question what is the good life and it's a incredible Psalm and it see what the psalmist is saying there is is may you live to see your children like olive shoots around your table [38:22] you know may you live to see your children's children it's like paints this picture this epic table this grandfather at this table seeing his grandchildren like you have to see that picture and say I want to build that I want to have that experience I want to be that grandfather or the grandmother someday and then this is how you get there you got to build up the skill of the table you've got to have a table where you learn how to make a nice meal sit down have a great great meal where the generations are honored and where each generation feels like they love it and man that's not easy it's not easy to figure that out so that's what we're aiming for and I think you know you can get there a lot faster than we did we really didn't have very many resources we felt fairly alone in a lot of this and so we were trying things and we went down some dead-ends but I've seen a lot of families figure this out 
Jerrad: This is so good man thank you so much thank you Jeremy for just dropping in you're amazing man you so I go through your work and then pop in and just drop by a bunch of cool I feel like you just wrote a book on this topic 30 minutes you know so so good man.
Jeremy: Thanks guys